Soul/R&B 03/30/10

OK – We got Soul/R&B with Usher as the mentor . . . . I’m down wid dat.

Ryan – Charcoal pinstripe suit – blue shirt – gray tie – the grandfather wanna be strikes again! I saw this dude on Oprah and he had on the same damn thing! This dweeb has a 45 million dollar contract and can’t afford a new suit? WTH?

Oh – Did you see that sweet leather jacket that Usher had on – Black leather on the shoulders fading into gray leather – wide zip collar – that sucka will be mine! The search starts today! What is up with people wearing sunglasses inside? Even when he was ‘mentoring’ he told one of um – let me take my sunglasses off so you can look me in the eye. Excuse me – if I can’t look someone in the eye when I talk to um – I got nothing to say to um.

First up . . . .

Soybean – ‘Through The Fire’ – Thought it was funny when Usher asked her about her ’wardrobe’ and she said that people thought it was ‘shocking’ – Get out! Really?!? I just can’t understand that – especially when she had on a one shoulder white strap holding up a black sand paper lookin top, a diaper for a skirt and snow boots. How could that possibly be a shocker? Get real people – she looked like Pocahontas after a raid. Who the hell did her hair? A new stylist sniffin glue? To sum up – I didn’t particularly care for the outfit and I didn’t feel as if it was becoming to her (there – sound better). As far as her performance – she’s off her game. Bad song choice – didn’t show off her vocals – she yelled parts of it. She evidently thought she did good though cause she sho wasn’t excited with what the judges had to say. She need to go back to the tepee and smoke a little happy . . . .

Casey – ‘Hold On I’m Coming’ – Whoa – Casey switched up the wardrobe – not his usual pattern shirt and jeans – he adorned a black shirt jacket kinda thing with a red shirt underneath and jeans – did I love it? Nah – but at least it was a change so I’ll give the guy a break. Casey is back people! Bout damn time! That was sweet – you could tell he was having a blast and I had a blast right along with him. Agree with Simon that was his strongest performance yet. Home run Casey – that’ll bring you back up to bat next week.

Michael – ‘Ready For Love’ – Brown leather jacket, black t – jeans – boring – just like him. He picked another slow song – how safe. This guy just gets on my nerves. OK, here’s my deal with this guy. Do I think he can sing? – yes, he can sing – Did he do good on this song – yeah, he did good - the ‘issue’ I have with him (besides his attitude) is that the judges just rave over him and you can hear his type of voice on every freakin channel on the radio dial. He’s not that special! He can go anytime now – won’t miss him at all because – like I said – I hear that voice on the radio all the time.

Didi – ‘What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted’ – Whad up wid the 20’s flapper hairdo? Same stylist that did Soybeans hair musta did her’s too. All that gold sequined with the black chiffon on the bottom, Las Vegas dress was missing was the feather in her hair and the feather fan dancers forming a line in the background. OMG people – that performance was so bad I could smell it through my remote! Kara says she’s lost her way – Did she ever find it? – And quit with the freakin crying all the time! Zoloft does wonders! Didi who?

Tim – ‘Sweet Love’ – Black ‘nice’ suit jacket, white shirt, gray tie, jeans – smart look and it worked for him. However, the ‘scruffy’ look he was trying to achieve didn’t get pulled off so well – give it some time son. He didn’t do as bad as he normally does – it was ‘tolerable’ (I had taken my medication for the night at this point allowing the proper ‘kicking in’ time) – but like I said before – this dude has peaked and it appears it’s all down hill from here – but – he don’t give a rip – he’s having a blast. Who can blame the guy? He’s going on tour – he’s young – laugh it up bro – have the time of your life man – Go for it! Still say he just needs to go on over to A&F and do the modeling thing – singin ain’t his bag.

Andrew – ‘Forever’ – Weird green suit with this funny kinda purple/brown checked shirt – What the hell color was that? He looked like the sidewalk outside in the Vista after a bar closing – after you have had way to much to drink – and the sidewalk is moving – and you’re not – and when you finally make it home you have to sleep on the seat in your shower – fully clothed – because that’s the only place in the house that isn’t moving (Don’t even ask me how I know about this). Anyway, to sum up – judges loved the look (but consider the source and look at their wardrobe and there you have it) – but – Nah – that looked like crap. He actually did better than he’s done in a LONG while. He’s still boring to me but he did step it up this time and I actually listened to the whole thing and didn’t tune out half way through the middle. Much better!

Katie – ‘Chain of Fools’ – (Fool being the operative word here) – Here she goes again playin ‘dress up’ – Green spaghetti strap short combo with black (were those leggings? Couldn’t tell) pants? – and her mama’s shoes. That song was WAY over that poofy hair of hers! I’m surprised Aretha didn’t come through the airways and shake her finger at her and say ‘Child, Don’t you EVAH do dat again!’ accompanied with the head sway! Why she chose such a huge song beats the hell outta me. Once again, the judges – Except Simon - raved about an awful performance (I still say they are trying to convince us these people are good – ain’t workin!) – Agree with Mr. Simon – that was a Star Search performance.

Lee – ‘Treat Her Like A Lady’ – I LOVE this song – good ole Cornelius Brothers and Sista Rose! I wore that album out! Gray leather jacket, black tee, gray jeans – it was OK. I had such a hard time comparing his rendition to the original but after he got into it – I got over it. That was butter pecan ice cream people (I love butter pecan ice cream!) – great song choice – loved the vocals and loved the performance – Damn nice job.

Crystal – ‘Midnight Train to Georgia’ – She’s playing the piano this week – she can play the guitar, piano and harmonica – All I can play is . . . . well, never mind. Hair back down – looks much better up – red dress with black leggings – on her it worked. She did good on that – totally not as good as last week - that was a little ‘subdued’ to me. I just wanted more from her after hearing her do Joplin last week. She’ll be fine – she’s the most talented one this year and I like her more and more each week and I still want to hear what she’s going to do next.

Aaron – ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’ – Can somebody PLEASE retire this song? I mean even Lee Majors took a crack at this one! He had on a blue leisure suit when he sang it. (As God is my witness – I NEVER owned a leisure suit – I knew that wouldn’t last past a sneeze!) – Black hooded jacket, plaid shirt (the boy loves him some plaid!) – Jeans and he’s got them sleeves rolled up again! Dude, LISTEN! These youngens! That was OK – no big woo. Just like an ‘OK, he’s done and another week down’.

Top for me – Lee, Crystal and Casey.

I'd love to see Katie be gone tonight but who know what some of these people are smokin when they vote . . . .

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 10 announced - 03/24/10

Ryan – Didn’t he have that same suit on last night – and the night before – and the night before – and the night before – and the night before – and the night before . . . . .

Group song – ‘Jitterbug’ – Jitterbug? Really? – That was cheesier than a truckload of Velveeta!

Did ya’ll notice when Ryan opened the show he didn’t mention how many number of votes was received – ratings are definitely down . . . .

First set of eliminations –

Soybean – she talks – bust she makes no sense – anyway – safe

Lee – safe

Casey – safe

Tim – he’s worn that red v-neck tee before – remember – he wore it with them white pants! – Bottom 3 – no surprise here

Paige – Bottom 3 – yep – sure should be

They got R&B next week and Usher will be the mentor.

Miley – ‘When I Look At You’ – Didn’t watch it – left the room – can’t stand her. I did however walk back into the room right at the time she did the ‘hair flip’ – I threw up a little in my mouth. Did her mama NOT teach her how to stand up straight?!?

Second set of eliminations –

Aaron – safe

Didi - safe

Michael – gets on my nerve (yes, I only have one nerve) – safe

Crystal – safe

Andrew – safe

Katie – bottom 3

So – you got Paige, Tim and Katie in the bottom 3 and ‘Dull Boy’ sends Katie right back to safety leaving Tim and Paige.

‘Make a Wave’ – Joe Jonas and some chick that couldn’t sing – neither could Joe – just once again goes to show ya that most of these people can’t sing outside of technically enhanced studio. Don’t know why Joe cut his hair so short – but I tell what they coulda cut – THAT SONG! That was . . . . Let’s see . . . . What’s the word . . . .? Ah, hell . . . . . let’s just go with . . . . . BAD!

Between Paige and Tim – Time is safe leaving Paige to sing for her survival. However, she didn’t get the chance – Simon said it was unanimous that she should go home and basically told her that it was no need to sing again – good decision. Think I’ll post a Thank you email on the AI web site for that.

OK – ART members – another week down and we have our top 10 that will go on tour. Don’t think I’m going to be rushing to get a ticket to see that concert – Hell, I sing better than most of these people drunk off my azz in a karaoke bar on a Saturday night after I’ve had about 10 shots and slurring every syllable that comes outta my mouth . . . . .

Ya’ll have a great weekend! – I have an awesome weekend planned – Party starts here soon and lasts until bedtime Sunday! Haircut – done – manicure – done – Tan – done - wardrobe planned - done – beer in the fridge chillin – done – pills to prevent hangover – on the kitchen counter with a note to the bottle that reads – TAKE ME!

Peace!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 11 - 03/23/2010 (My Birthday!)

Good Morning my fellow ART’ies!

It’s Wacked Out Wednesday!

Gonna start off by saying that last night at dinner – dude comes up to me and ask me how many shirts I have ripped trying to get them over my arms . . . . And he didn’t even know it was my birthday! I’ll take it . . . .

We got Billboard number ones this week . . . .

Ryan – This dude even annoys me the way he walks down the stairs. Same black suit, same black tie, same white shirt – same dull Ryan.

Did you notice he asked twice why last night was so important and got the same answer twice – because only the top 10 go on tour – we get it Ryan – we’ve seen the show before – Did you fill up enough time asking that question twice – huh? Well did ya?

OK – we got Miley Cyrus as mentor – A freakin mentor?!? A mentor?!? Are you kiddin me – Did they run out of people in the mentor pool and she was all that was left? Let’s see just how far down hill we can go . . . . .

Lee – ‘The Letter’ - Black silk jacket, black jeans, white ‘t’ – I didn’t care for the ‘broach’ on the lapel – and the whole thing was so Andrew Dice Clay (OK – I stole that from Janeen – and she’s right – that is so dead on!). However, he did an awesome job on that. He seemed more confident on stage than he has in the past few weeks – still love this guy’s voice. Yep – great job!

Paige – ‘Against All Odds’ – White tunic kinda lookin thang – black skinny belt – black leggings – them black shoes were sweet though – it was nothing to write home about – unlike her performance – she needs to write home and say – ‘I’m on da way back home cause I sucked!’. That was just awful (as usual) – pitch all over the place. Totally blew chunks! Just how did she get this far? Just beat me with a tire iron – it would be less painful!

Tim - ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ – gray jacket – black/white sweater – jeans – would have worked better if he would have lost the jacket – didn’t go! The hair was rockin though. People, People, People – that was about as silly as it gets! The corny slide across the stage – the jumpin up and down like a ‘Esta Bunny’ on crack – vocals were awful. He peaked with ‘Halleluiah’. He’s done.

OK – so we are 41 minutes into the show and only 3 people have sung (well only one) – I think we need to blame idol as part of the bad economy!

Aaron – ‘I Don’t want To Miss A Thing’ – Black shirt jacket – black/white checked shirt – jeans – he kinda looked the best he has ever looked but totally screwed it up when he turned the sleeves up – don’t do that again! – ruined the whole thing! Judges liked it – I say it was way off. Still – not as bad as Paige – but way off. I coulda missed that.

Crystal – ‘Me & Bobby McGee’ – Now SHE totally looked the best she ever has – her hair was up – she had make up on – had on this black long dress with a cool belt – almost didn’t recognize her. I’ve always said she had a Joplin type voice and when I heard she was doing this I knew she would knock it outta the park and she TOTALLY did. That freakin ROCKED! She evidently knew it was my birthday and did that especially for me! Love this girl and cannot wait to see what she is going to do next!

Michael (I REFUSE to call him ‘Big %^&%’) ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’ – Black jacket – black vest (way to short for him) – white shirt – black jeans – he’s done this before – he needs to look up the word ‘variety’! That was a safe song choice for him and I still wasn’t ready to like him after that was over – Boring! I cannot get past his attitude. Judges kinda ripped him a new one on that – and they should have.

Andrew – ‘Heard It Through The Grapevine’ – Green kaki army type jacket – v-neck white ‘t’ – jeans – it was all to bland – BLAND being the keyword here. A stage performer he is not. Now I can see why he was reluctant to put the guitar down. He is way to stiff and it seemed to me like he talked most of that song instead of singing it. Not good and agree with Simon – he ‘sucked’ the soul right outta that song.

Katie – ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ – Black jacket – pea green shirt with a big ole peace sign on the front – Shirt would be cool with jeans. She did her usual – sharp and pitchy - didn’t suck as much as she has in the past but still bad. This girl just needs to go – just like Paige.

Casey – ‘The Power of Love’ – Hair down – better – cool gray shirt with black pattern – black jeans – it was – well, his usual. Sorry Casey fans – that was like the ride from Charleston to Columbia – long and boring. It just didn’t have any . . . . Well, anything really. Mr. Hill, There’s something wrong with Casey. Somebody needs to jump that spark back into this guy.

Didi – ‘You’re No Good’ – Black one shoulder dress – big belt – black boots – black hose – ‘whadevah!' – I grow tired of her one shoulder look. All of that was fake and unbelievable – it was like she had to just do something and get it over with. She was . . . . No good.

Soybean – ‘Superstition’ – Cyrus said her voice had swagger – I bet she had to look that word up. Was that a female Mohawk or a Sheena Easton impression? Black vest – white shirt – gray tight pants – it was unusual – go figure. The judges loved that – I think the whole thing was way to slow. The big note was good but that was about it for me. She’s done much better the last couple of times – this time – not so much.

Only ones I liked tonight was Crystal and Lee in that order – other than that the show pretty much blew!

OK – let’s vote – Is this the worst season ever?

DJ Jumper
ART President

Elimination show - 03/17/10

Ryan – Does he not own a mirror? Mr. Hill, there’s something wrong with Ryan!

Four minutes into the show before they actually start the show. Must we recap every single show? I mean come on!

David Cook – ‘Jumpin Jack Flash’ – Black suit, red shirt – cool! He did an awesome job with that song! That was custard baby!

Here we go . . . .

Paige – Bottom 3 – and should be there.

Lee – safe.

Soybean – safe.

Aaron – safe.

Andrew – safe.

Tim – Bottom 3.

‘According To You’ – I have no idea what the heck her name was (Where do they come up with these names!) but as far as I concerned it was Visa – cause she’s everywhere I wanna be! Well . . . . . until she finished singing and turned to the side – that be a lot of nose!

Didi – safe.

Crystal – safe.

Katie – safe – who’s voting for her?

Michael – safe.

Casey – safe.

Lacey – Bottom 3.

Bottom three - Paige, Tim and Lacey. Ryan does the usual and lets someone off the hook and it’s Tim – he’s safe for another week.

‘Blah Blah Blah’ – OK – she ba a Lady Ga Ga wanna be! I do love this song though – Excellent bar song!

Between Paige and Lacey – it’s Lacey who has to sing for her survival. They are doing the save thang again this year. She chose to sing ‘The Story’ which was her best performance all season. However – it didn’t come off as good this time and the judges decided not to save her – I wouldn’t have either. So bye bye Lacey.


Talk to ya’ll next week.

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 12 - 03/16/10

Are we start off wid the top 12. Top 12?!? Seriously?!? – This is the top 12?!? . . . . hmmmmmm.

They get makeovers at the top 12 – we’ll see if they look better.

Ryan – Lather, Rinse, Repeat . . . . . Lather, Rinse, Repeat . . . . Lather, Rinse, Repeat . . . . Get the idea . . . .

Warning – I’m in a mood . . . . . tired of all this bad singin!

These two hour shows are starting to cut into my muscle growing time. Everybody knows your muscles grow when you sleep – I want to be put completely under for about a month and see if I can make some progress! The whole thing would not last near as long if it wasn’t for the DAMN commercials! I friggin HATE commercials! Remember back in the day when you could watch part of another show during a commercial break? Now the a-holes have timed it so that all the commercials are at the same time on every damn channel and they run MUCH longer! Have you noticed that?!? I say everybody boycott everything that is marketed through TV commercials! I can take just so much of this crap being jammed down my throat! I don’t give a rat’s azz if the broom falls in love with the rake! OK – I will step down off of my soap box now . . . . .

We have the Rolling Stones this week - Stone(d) being the keyword here. Has Keith Richards ever been clean? Just askin . . . .

Michael – (OK! – OK! – He and his wife had a baby! We’re HEARD IT! WE HEAR IT EVERY DAMN WEEK! Move the ‘F’ ON! – I am sick and tired of hearing their stories over and over and over and over and over and over . . . . . all the tears – all the sorrow – What is the Hallmark Channel?!? . . . . . Anywhoooo – ‘Miss You’ – Cool black shirt with the white stitching – got one just like it – if he were a true personal trainer it would fit him correctly. Mine fits me to a ‘t’. Black pants – big woooo. I didn’t care at all for this remake. Honestly – I’m glad he went first so he could do what he was gonna do and get off the stage – I just don’t like this guy. He bugs the hell outta me. He thinks he’s all dat and he so ain’t. Couldn’t do much of a makeover on dat – looked the same to me. In summary – I didn’t particularly enjoy that performance.

Didi – ‘Play with Fire’ – Black spaghetti strap shirt, jeans tucked into the boots (looks like it cuts her in half – she would look so much taller if she would not do that!) – Her hair looked like it was lacquered to her head – Yeah; they made her over all right – to look like a Friday night hooker special. Was she trying to be sexy or sultry? Neither one came across. She just can’t do those. She did her usual pushed, missed the mark performance. The high notes made me grab the remote and turn it down! I am just sooooo not feelin this chick.

Casey – ‘Its All Over Now’ – Love the black shirt with the red on the shoulders and across the chest – black pants - only have one problem with this – it’s the same outfit every week just in a different color. He needs to switch things up – this is getting old. His hair was way to big tonight – reminds me of the time they redid Bucky and he had the Jessica Simpson hair. OK didn’t hate this but didn’t love it either. It was his usual and his usual is starting to be . . . . Well, to usual. Dude needs to step it up and agree with Simon it wasn’t incredible.

Lacey – ‘Ruby Tuesday’ – Black/white stripped one shoulder shirt (here we go again) – looked like brown gauze wrapped around the middle of it (WTH?) – Black skirt - that top was just too weird – but I did like the high top black boots – SWEET! That sucked people! Judges say it was 50/50 – I say 95/5 – with 95 being the suck factor. She was so good last week and totally disappointed me this week. Goodbye Ruby? . . . . Goodbye Lacey! She looked the same – no big makeover on her – except the hair kinda resembled a crippled tree reaching toward heaven . . . . .

Andrew – ‘Give Me Shelter’ – Gray jacket, red shirt, jeans – all of it . . . . . wrong! I am so over this guy. He is as exciting as an empty bong! I was bored two seconds into it. He should have gone home last week – I would have rather heard Alex sing again instead of this guy. Yawn, Yawn, Yawn . . . . And has he never heard of contacts? Makeover – not much you can do wid it.

Katie – ‘Wild Horses’ – That dress was way to old for her – necklace – way to old for her – granny belt – dress made he look like a graffiti wall. Her mom actually ain’t bad though! That entire redo was a total miss. Randy said she sang that well?!? Now I know who stole my speed! That was pitchy all over the place. I said it before and I’ll say it again – these judges are just trying to convince us at home that these people have talent – I’m not convinced yet. That sucked . . . . . and so did the makeover!

Tim – ‘Under My Thumb’ – Black/gray tight Henley and jeans – shirt looked good on him – I however have a blue/black one just like it and I totally rock that shirt – fill it in like it should be. He needs to work on da chest. When I heard he was doing this song I said . . . . He gonna screw that up . . . . Well, he didn’t totally screw it but that was so the wrong song choice for him. He was so much better last week and I was hoping he’d stay the course. For him it was OK – Do I think he’ll be back – yep – tennies are gonna wanna look at him another week or so.

Siobhan – ‘Paint It Black’ - (I sooo want to call her Soybean! – I wondered where a name like that could possible come from and once I saw her parents – I understood. They are still high. Black strapless fluffy dress to match her newly fluffed hair - and them gawd awful boots. I didn’t care for this song choice for her – she totally pulled it off but I have liked her better the past couple of weeks but I mean come on – it’s the stones! Was she even alive when their music was popular? Anyway – I’ll give her a good job on that one and let it go. Didn’t care for her re-make – to fluffy.

Lee – ‘Beast of Burdon’ – Awesome gray leather jacket – I have it – it’s made by Guess – black crew ‘t’ – so should have been v-neck (Come on Lee!) – Jeans – it was all cool. This is one of my favorite stoned songs! He slowed it down a bit and I totally loved that. FINALLY somebody with some talent! Simon says he has no personality – the dude is just shy – Hell, I’m shy – just check out my facebook page and you’ll see how shy I am. I’m totally in introvert too! Dude is awesome and my fav on the show! AWESOME JOB!

Paige – ‘Honky Tonk Woman’ – Brown one piece short outfit – black leggings and brown boots – Who da hell made her over? Twiggy? OK – she ain’t gonna get no honky tonk man singin that way! I’ll give her a little leeway because she has been sick and had laryngitis – but I am being VERY lenient here! Nah – never mind – that wasn’t good . . . . turn da Paige!

Aaron – ‘Angie’ – Brown leather jacket, white printed ‘t’ – like the ‘t’ - still should have been v-neck – jeans – for his age – I’ll let him slide. They did a redo on him and gave him Ellen hair but on him the hair worked – on Ellen it doesn’t. This wasn’t to bad at all – this was a good song choice for him – didn’t over sing it – didn’t blow me away – but didn’t make me hurl either. I’ll give it a pass.

Crystal – ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ – Black shirt, black pants, black bling and believe it or not I was not mortified by her hair tonight. It looked cleaner and looked better pulled back like that. OK – I really like this girl and she did an awesome job as usual but she so gotta cheer up! She is extremely talented and I love her Joplin style. Come on Crystal – liven up there babe – you’re awesome!

OK – I have to say that while I was bitching about the zillion commercials – I have to admit that when Mr. Hill rubs the balloons in his hair to create the electrical shock to bring Scooter back to life. . . . . I ‘f-in’ laugh EVERYTIME! – I mean the look on that creatures face is so dam priceless – it’s like ‘WTF just happened – I was just sleepin dude?!?

My fav’s (and in this order) Lee, Crystal and Soybean.

As long as those three stay send home who the hell ever.

Totally rockin my new black Armani v-neck ‘t’ today - I just got in ‘a couple’ of things I ordered from the very talented designer! . . . . .

Catch ya’ll later,

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 12 announced - 03/11/10

OK – got in late and missed the opening group song – damn Lexington traffic! Anywhooo – guessing it was just like the other ones – taped and lip synced so I’m guessing I didn’t miss much. I'll look at it later on the DVR.

Ryan – chauffer – missing his cap – nuff said.

Here we go . . . .

Didi – top 12

Siobion – top 12

Paige – top 12

Katelyn – eliminated – should have been reversed.

I can’t get why they make such a big deal over the top 12 – it’s the top 10 that get to go on tour – so why all the hype? Just sayin . . . .

Casey – top 12

Tim – top 12 – he stepped it up.

Lee – top 12 – DUH!

Todrick – eliminated – I’m good wid dat!

Scott McEntyre and Matt Guirard – WTF wuz up wid Matt’s hair! Was he tryin to do the Mohawk thing? What is it with all these Mohawks! Scott still reminds me of one of them wookies from Star Wars. They don’t need to be singin together . . . .

Question – why do they still say that they have a new album out? When’s the last time ya’ll seen an album?!?

Crystal – she looked so sad tonight – cheer up hunny – you be top 12 – DUH!

Michael – top 12 – whad – evah . . . .

Lacey – top 12 – after last night I kinda figured she would be.

Aaron – top 12

Andrew – top 12

Alex – eliminated – I think it should have been Andrew – I’m so bored with that guy. Sorry Jodi.

Katie – top 12 – WHAT!?!

Lily – eliminated – I soooo totally don’t agree with that one! She is much more talented than that brat Katie! Sorry Gordon.

I don’t get it people – but we got our top 12.

Its St. Patrick’s Day weekend! Time to get da drunk on! (Like I don’t do that pretty much every weekend but this weekend its green beer!) Already got the tight green t-shirt ironed!

Ya’ll have a great weekend!

Oh - they are doing The Rolling Stones next week . . . .

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 8 guys - 03/10/10

Ryan – He’s like the movie of the month on cable – you can see the same thing on every friggin channel . . . . JUST LIKE THAT SUIT!

Lee – ‘Firefly’ – Green plaid shirt, black ‘t’ under – jeans – it was him – it was cool. When I heard he was singing this song I was like – Dude, WTH? I can only really enjoy that song when I’m high. However . . . . I liked his version better than the Owl City version! Love this guy’s voice – he totally made that work for him. Agree with Kara (first time I think!) – He took that song and made it better – I actually enjoyed that song and I wasn’t high! Great job from him – as usual!

Alex – ‘Trouble’ – Black jacket – white shirt left out – black skinny tie – grayish jeans – all of that was totally cool. This dude is getting better and starting to grow on me. That was totally better than the last couple of times and he’s starting to show us what he can do. Good song choice for him. Agree with Ellen – he’s getting better each week. Totally needs a different ‘do’ though.

Tim – ‘Hallelujah’ (thank God for spell check on that one!) – Black shirt – jeans – a total staple but did like the black shirt – would look better on me. Whoa! Why the hell ain’t he been doing that good all along? That was a total shocker for me. He actually did a jam up job on that song especially when you compare it to the last performances. Totally a perfect song choice for him – fit his voice. Damn good job!

Andrew – ‘Genie in a Bottle’ – A&F type sweater – hated it! – White v-neck ‘t’ – jeans and still accessorizing with the Buddy Holly glasses. I would have thought they would have changed them by now but I don’t think they do a make over on them until they get to the top 12 – must be a perk or something. I did not care for his rendition of this song. Totally didn’t feel it at all. I’m getting bored with this guy. That totally didn’t work for him and totally agree with Simon – he’s going backwards.

Casey – ‘You’ll think of me’ – Real cool white shirt with the pattern on the shoulders – I have one or two like that (OK, probably about 40) – jeans – it was all cool. Hair – looked like a rats nest. OK Casey fans – that was so totally what-evah . . . . He has done much better in the past and that was yawns-ville for me. Didn’t totally hate it but it was just uneventful and unexciting. He’ll totally be in the top 12 – he just kinda bored me this week.

Aaron – ‘I’m Already There’ – Gray plaid shirt – white crew neck under (crew neck – seriously? – pay attention son!) – Jeans – it looked OK. He started of really bad on that for me but made up for it in the middle and the end. For him to be 16, he did a good job on that. I’m just not feelin his vibe though. He’s kinda like that relative that you can only take so much of – then you’re done.

Todrick – ‘Find Me Somebody to Love’ – OK – Totally loved the black shoulder zipper jacket. I want that – but hated them jeans tucked into them boots – get over that already man – he’s done that way to many times! Ya’ll sitting down? I actually thought he did pretty good on that – He didn’t make my skin crawl this time. Still not one of my fav’s but I’ll give the dude credit for that one. Good job.

Mike - ‘This Woman’s’ World’ - Yep – gotta say it! Personal Trainer?!? – Seriously?!? – You’ll hear again next week if he’s still there. Black jacket, black vest, white shirt, black tie – jeans – that didn’t work for him. He’s another one of these that as long as I don’t have to look at him I like the way he sings – just can’t look at him – ya know like Clay Aiken. That last note was freakin awesome though. He did do a great job on that one but still not likin him to much.

Kara is getting sillier and sillier each week! Crying after Mikes performance – What is she 16? Gimme a break already! What’s she gonna do next – faint?!?

I didn’t absolutely hate anybody tonight. The ‘judges’ can say that the girls are stronger than the guys but . . . . . Guess again Skippy . . . . The guys totally outshine the girls at this point.

Not sure who’s gonna go tonight for the guy’s – the ones that have been lagging stepped it up this week so as long as Lee stays – I’m good.

Talk to ya’ll tomorrow,


DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 8 girls - 03/09/10

Ryan – ya know – he is just like himpes (that’s what guys get – girls get herpes – OK, that’s funnier when you’re drinkin!) – He just keeps coming back . . . . . wearing the same suit . . . . .

Katie – ‘Break Away’ – Hair straight – ho hum - cool gray jacket though – black shirt, black patterned pants – that would look cool on somebody else – looked like she was playin dress up. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for these people to be doing idol winners songs – especially when you can’t sing. Does she even have a key? That was sooooo not entertaining. She need to go . . . .

Siobhan – ‘House of the Rising Sun’ – What is it with flowers in the head? Black kinda Chinese lookin jacket over a red dress – it was her. OK – she totally nailed that! She’s starting to grow on me – I just can’t look at her sing and cringe when she speaks – She is one spaced out mama but she sho can blo!

Lacy – ‘The Story’ – Leopard print jacket, pinkish shirt, black pants and pinkish shoes – and baby – that lime green nail polish was da bomb! (That was total sarcasm). Now this one was a surprise to me – this is the best she has done since she has been in this competition – totally her type of song – good song choice – she had great vocals on this one – She need to stay on dis road!

Katelyn – ‘I Feel the Earth Move’ – Hair back down and lookin like she just got outta bed – LOVE IT! – Beige jumper – purple long sleeve shirt – blah – but the hair made up for everything else! Boots were kinda cool. When I heard she was doin Carol King – first thought in my head was ‘She gonna screw this up’ – and I was correct. That so did not work for her. She put nothing into it – She took a great song and made it boring – pardon the pun – didn’t feel the earth move . . . . .

Didi – ‘Rhiannon’ - Orange one shoulder dress (she likes them one shoulder things don’t she! – Explain this to me – those one shoulder things cost just as much, or more, than a complete shirt – why not get the whole thing? And – doesn’t that one shoulder get cold?) big ole black belt – black boots – she looked like a pumpkin. Here we go . . . . She took that and tried to make it her own but as far as I concerned – she can keep it! The judges totally loved it – I reckon I am such a huge Stevie/Fleetwood Mac fan that I don’t want anybody messin up such great music – it’s like putting a mustache on da Mona Lisa. Judges loved it – I didn’t.

Paige – ‘Smile’ – Black Christmas lookin jacket – gold shirt – black skirt (way to little for her!) – Black hose – it all looked to Holiday-ish. That was painful people! Total piano bar performance. Flat. So didn’t make me smile – well, I did when it was over. She need to go too!

Crystal – ‘Give Me One Reason’ – Black pleated long shirt – brown belt – black pants – black boots – again, it was her. I just wish they’d do something with that hair! It just looks so damn dirty. Anywhoooo – that was DOPE! Totally the best performance of the night! I really like this girl – she knows who she is – she knows where she wants to go – she knows what she can do – Love her!

Lily – ‘I Fall to Pieces’ – Get this – Liz actually turned to me and said . . . . ‘I like her hair’ – to which I make this simple inquiry . . . . ‘WTF?’ – Still reminds me of baby doll hair. That 70’s jean patchwork dress was taken straight outta the Brady Bunch archives! I know the 70’s stuff has been back but this is taking it just a little too far – I mean Alex has Carol’s hair and Lily has Carol’s wardrobe. What’s next – the Leisure suit?!? I mean did ya see the earrings? Crocheted earrings – Seriously! Loved her last week – didn’t get her this week – didn’t totally hate it – didn’t love it either – a total ‘garden salad with no dressing’ thang fer me – I’ll eat it – but I won’t enjoy it . . . . .

Fav’s of the night – Crystal and Siobhan – want to go home – Paige and Katie.

We’re closer to the top 12 people! Guys tonight.

It’s Wacky Wednesday! I did legs early this morning – hate leg day but always feel on top of the world when I get finished!

Later!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Elimination Night - 03/04/10

Ryan – Holy crap Batman! – How many suits does he have like that!?!

Two Girls – Two Guys go home . . . .

Group Song – ‘I Got A Feelin’ – Again – they all look better on the night that some of them are going home – they so needed to reverse them outfits! Still want to take that freakin flower off of Haley’s head! Like last week they sound good when they record it first and lip sync it back – it’s amazing how technology can make you sound so much better than you actually are. Wish technology could make me taller!


First set of eliminations . . . .

Tim – safe – told ya the teeny boppers would keep him in for another week.

Todrick – safe – he’ll go soon enough.

Michael – safe – I’m good with that.

Casey – safe – yeah – knew he would be.

John – eliminated – Should have been Todrick but he’d have been gone sooner or later.

Second set of eliminations . . . .

Lee – safe – totally!

Aaron – safe.

Alex – safe.

Andrew – safe.

Jermaine - eliminated – and totally should be – now go home and take that ugly azz bow tie wid ya!

Danny Goke – ‘My Best Days Are Ahead of Me’ – Sweet black leather jacket – red shirt – black jeans – it all worked for him. Freakin love that song – I want it! Love the lyrics! Still love that guys voice – AWESOME! He seemed like he was on top of the world – happy for the guy. Yep – I’ll buy his CD.

Third set of eliminations . . . .

Lily - safe – yep should be.

Paige – safe – whad – evah.

Katie – Oh hunny – don’t pull your hair back like that – not a good look for you – safe - GRRRRRR.

Didi – safe – guess the tears saved her.

Michelle – eliminated – hate that – it should have been Didi or anybody else in this group except Lily.

Forth set of eliminations . . . .

Katelyn – See how much better she looks with her hair down – safe.

Crystal – safe – Duh! – Love this girl’s voice.

Siobion – safe – yep – after last night’s performance she sure should be!

Lacey – safe – but she sho better get a move on!

Haley - eliminated! We don’t gotta see no more big ole flowers! Yep – she should have been gone last week.

Okie Dokie my fellow ART’ies – another weed out week down.

Until next week – Ya’ll have an awesome weekend! I know I’m going to! Wardrobe has already been decided!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 10 girls - 03/04/10

Ryan – Black suit, white shirt, black tie. Back to his Men In Black attire – or undertaker – take your pick.

Crystal – ‘As Long As I Can See The Light’ – Purple shirt – Black knit jacket kinda thing – black jeans tucked in da boots (Gawd, I HATE that!) – Anyway – it was her. That was freakin awesome – she totally rocked that! Loved it – Hope she stays in this groove. Going with an . . . . . Awesome!

Haley – ‘The Climb’ – There’s that big ole freakin flower again! She musta kept it in a vase and watered since last week – thought it would be dead by now – Black top, black/white printed skirt – none if it worked. – That was AWFUL! Made me want to climb on top of a mountain and jump off! Poor widdle Rusty covered his ears! OK final judgment on that one . . . . . TOTALLY SUCKED!

Lacy – ‘Kiss Me’ – I don’t mind funky dressing as long as it’s done right but where the hell did she get that shirt from – it looked like the kitchen curtains from a 1960’s trailer! Jeans were tight – I’m OK with that. Her hair looked like she just came outta the chicken coop after layin a dozen eggs. OK – that was not good people. Not as bad as Haley but not good. Givin that one just a . . . . SUCKED!

Katie – ‘Put Your Records On’ – Multi colored shirt – black leggings – them shoes were – interesting. I did like her hair. Could she pick a key and stick with it please? Best thing about that is when it ended! Pitchy all over the place! Givin that one the same as above . . . . . SUCKED!

Am I being to critical? – Do I need to make an additional appointment with my therapist – I think I’ll do that just as soon as she gets out of therapy.

Didi – ‘Lean On Me’ – Is she a Jessica Simpson wanna be or what? Kinda rust colored long ¾ sleeve shirt – huge black belt – and the jeans tucked into the boots (I think I mentioned above that I don’t particularly care for that look) – I did however like the CFM boots. Her voice is so not for this song. She tried to pull that off – she tried – but it was a no go. OK I am totally stuck on . . . . SUCKED!

Michelle – ‘Arms Wide Open’ – Liked the black bolero jacket – After I looked back at it again – I have mixed feelings on the shirt – (Per Chris, it looked like a diaper – That’s my boy!) - I think it looked like the top half of a wedding dress – black leggings - but now the gloves were kickin! I was disappointed in her tonight. I liked her much better last week. Bad song choice – totally not her genre – I can understand her trying to ‘step it up’ or whad evah – but nah, that type of song does not fit her voice. I’m being lenient with her – giving that one an . . . . . . OK.

Lily – ‘Have no clue – missed the name of the song – bathroom break’ – That hair is just awful! Is she trying to do the Courtney thang? Hate it! The dress looked like a Ross sale rack item – Boots were OK – (Gordon, hope you’re sitting down!) I actually liked that one! Song fit her – it was her style – I got her tonight – let’s see if she can keep it up . . . . . Giving that one a . . . . . Good job!

Kaitlin – ‘The Scientist’ - She had her hair up and it made her look totally different – she needs to keep it down. Big ole gold earrings – white one shoulder shirt – liked it – even though it was one shoulder – big ole gold skirt that made her look to hippy – and she ain’t hippy. That was to slow for her – to long and drawn out. I was bored. It’ll probably keep her in another week. Giving that one a . . . . . YAWN.

Paige ‘Walk Away’ Big ole green earrings – multi shirt – black vest – black pants – black boots – big whoooo. They say she has one of the best voices? What the hell are they hearing? Didn’t like it. Going with a . . . . . FORGETTABLE.

Siobion ‘Think’ – I could NOT put my finger on it but Chris pointed it out for me – She’s Punky Brewster! – A real spaced out Punky Brewster! Weird little blue frock with a polka dot top – just weird – it fit her personality anyway. She totally needs to lose the nose accessory! I gotta give it to her though – She totally pulled that off – that last big note was right on! She shocked me on that one. She’s gonna be one of those that as long as you don’t have to look at her sing – she’s good. But she is one spaced out chick! Givin that one . . . . . SWEET!

Still think the guys are better than the girls at this point.

We’ll see who gets the boot tonight . . . .


DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 10 Guys - 03/02/10

OK boys and girls – let’s see if the puppy is gonna play fetch . . . .

Ryan – black suit, blue shirt, black tie . . . drab, drab, drab . . . . Somebody wake me up when he gets some style.

Michael – ‘This is a Mans World’ – Personal Trainer?!? . . . . Really?!? . . . . Seriously?!? . . . . Yeah, I know I’ve said that time after time – guess what, you’ll hear it again! I don’t care if he can bench 505 . . . . Don’t mean a thing to me – guess it’s just what you’re into. I’d rather be cut – I get told all the time that I need a band aide – cause I’m so cut. Anyhoooo . . . . All black with a little bling. Seen it – over it. OK, that actually wasn’t bad at all. It was much better than the Mike Tyson impression last week. He needs to stick with the R&B, it’s his groove. Good song choice for him and I’ll give it a good ole . . . . . OK.

John Park – ‘Gravity’ – White v neck ‘t’ – jeans – not a lot of planning there was it? He needs to pick up a weight to fill in them sleeves. That was boring . . . . yawn . . . .yawn . . . . Yeah like Michael – better than last week but still flat . . . . What was his name again? . . . . What did he sing?

Casey James – ‘I Don’t Wanna Be’ – Black shiny shirt – liked it, jeans – a staple but it worked partly because it wasn’t form fitting so you couldn’t tell he had no form. Shirt would look a lot better on me. Casey, my bud, a rocker you ain’t. You don’t wanna be dat! Take another swing Casey – you missed that one.

Alex Lambert – ‘Everybody Knows’ – That jacket (black plaid) goes just perfect with Carol’s hair don’t ya think? – Blue shirt, white v neck ‘t’ and gray jeans – to much goin on there. Another improver. I didn’t totally cringe at that so I’m giving that one a . . . . . insert shoulder shrug here . . . .

Todrick Hall – ‘What’s Love Got to Do With it’ – Pewter shiny, shiny jacket (now that’s a lot of shiny ugly!) black shirt, black tie, black pants . . . . Can we move on please? He needs to do more than a few push ups before he goes on stage to make them pecs look bigger. Good Gawd! – He doin Tina! She needs to bitch slap him! That last note was horrendous just like the whole friggin thing! That was totally bad! He may exit the competition now . . . .

Jermaine Sellers – ‘What’s Going On?’ – OMG! I totally agree with Renee – it’s Pee Wee Herman! – and with a fake Mohawk – pink bow tie, black polka dot shirt, white sweater, jeans – Where was his bike? He needs to find that bike – get on it – and wave bye-bye to everybody and ring his little bell as he rides off into the sunset! Hopefully he ain’t going on! Like the two dudes on In Living Color . . . . . Hated it!

Andrew Garcia – ‘You Give Me Something’ – Gray jacket, Black v neck ‘t’ – black scarf, jeans – Pardon my nap. Still hating them glasses. Come on Armani – throw the dude some specs like you did for Danny – He needs help! I had high hopes for this guy but he’s just not cutting it. He had potential at the beginning but I don’t see it anymore . . . . He’s boring me . . . . next please.

Aaron Kelly – ‘My Girl’ – Black shirt, jeans – to safe. His voice cracked a lot on that one or was it me? Again – Better than last week – song was too old fashioned for him – didn’t totally hate it but . . . . Big whooo

Tim Urban – ‘Get Higher’ – Red v neck ‘t’ and white pants – (crew necks are so totally over – and good riddance) – OK – he looked the part but there he went again and opened his mouth. He did make some small improvement over last time but still not good there Tim-bo! Agree with Ellen, he needs to go do those Hallmark Channel movies. Will the teeny boppers keep him in another week? . . . . probably.

Lee Dewyze – ‘Lips of An Angel’ – Blue ‘t’ – should have been v-neck (Lee, dude! – pay attention!) – jeans were cool but obviously to big for him because he pulled them up at least two times while he was singing – How classy! Despite his wardrobe problems – I totally liked that one! I really like this guy’s voice and in my opinion this was the best performance of the night. Agree with Kara – he has a commercial voice and I think he’s just gonna get better and better.

Okie Doke – Was this an improvement over last weeks show? – yeah – by a lot? No – but it was more tolerable. Let’s hope the girls have improved since last week. Only one I really liked tonight was Lee, Michael second and don’t really have a third.

Catch ya’ll tomorrow . . . . .

DJ Jumper,
ART President