Thursday, February 25, 2010

ART - First set of eliminations 02/25/10

And we are at the first elimination round of the season – two guys and two girls go home.

Ryan – Black suit, white shirt, tie undone – Big woooo – That suit sooo did not fit him right. I wonder if he even has a stylist. I am going with . . . . NO!

Group Song – ‘American Boy’ – OK are ya’ll sitting down for this one – I actually liked the way that they sounded together – pretty damn good – and then I was reminded (Thanks Janeen) they cut that before and lip synced it – Ah, now it makes sense. The choreography still sucks! Looks like something the Mickey Mouse Club would do!

First set of eliminations – Girls

Siobion – (or however you spell it – Where the hell do people come up with these names? Sounds like a baby’s formula) but she is safe.

Haley – That was one ugly ass flower she had in her head – I don’t get all these flowers and funky animal head adornments these chicks are wearing this year – tacky, tacky, tacky. OMG! She’s safe! I despise this girl – can’t talk, can’t sing . . . . Hopefully she’ll go soon enough!

Michelle – safe – Yep should be!

Katelyn – safe

Katie – safe – can’t stand her either. She just reminds me of a brat.

Janelle – eliminated – See what happens when you mess with Heart!

Allison – ‘Scars’ – Them is some long bright red extensions she got on there! I kinda like the black streaks in it though – black dress with this big ole . . . . it looked like a friggin fin coming outta the back of her – (I can just see the designer of that frock going – we need something in the back – Oh, I know let’s put a fin back there!) – Black patterned hose and knee high boots – all in all – it was Allison. I like the song – liked the lyrics – but one question – What drug do you think she was on? I’m going with coke! She was totally high!

Girls – second set of eliminations –

Paige – safe

Lacy – safe (Leave Stevie alone from now on! – Final warning!)

Lily – Gordon will be happy!

Crystal – safe, and should be

DiDi – safe

Ashley – eliminated – She sang Happy – guess she’s not now - I’m totally OK with this – but you could tell by the look on her face – she wasn’t. Oh well hunny – I’ll give you one of these . . . . ‘Bless you heart’ . . . . See ya!


Guys eliminations – First go round . . . .

Mike – Personal trainer?!? – Really?!? – Seriously?!? – safe – whad evah.

John – safe – dude needs to work on his flatness

Aaron – safe

Todrick – safe (again – where do people get these names? Speaking as someone who totally hates their name – there ought to be a damn law!)

Tim – safe – I’m going with a great big WTF? Dude totally got by on his looks – I think I told ya’ll that I though he would. I mean, I get a lot from my looks too – but I don’t try to freakin sing when I know I can’t!

Joe – eliminated – hated to see him go so early when it should have been Tim.

Kris Allen – ‘Let It Be’ – gray shirt, jeans – boring! However, he did an excellent job with the song. Gotta tell ya’ll – wasn’t a big Kris fan until the other day I was jamming in da truck – heard I song I liked – turned up the radio and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t his song . . . . I actually liked it! – There, I said it! It’s in print!

Last set of eliminations . . . .

Casey – safe – ah, yeah!

Jermaine – safe – OMG – seriously?

Lee – safe – ah, yeah!

Andrew – safe – but he better pick it up.

Alex – safe – gotta work on the nerves.

Tyler – eliminated – Now he can go make those movies . . . .

OK ART fans – first set of eliminations under our belt and 4 of them are weeded out . . . .

Ya’ll have a great Friday – a great weekend and I’ll talk to ya’ll next week. Got a killer weekend planned – AS ALWAYS! I really do need to grow up one day . . . . But it ain’t today!


DJ Jumper
ART President

ART - Guys night

OK – the top 12 guys. Were they better than the girls last night? . . . . Well, yeah, but not by much. There were three that stood out to me – the rest . . . . Not so much.

Ryan – Back to the suits we go – bland gray suit, white shirt, no tie and as the usual Ryan – no pizzazz! He’s just so freakin bland. He needs to see the sun once in a while. Did you notice how well his suit matched his hair?

Todrick Hall, 24 – ‘Since You Been Gone’ – Pretty cool leather jacket – but you see it everywhere you go though – gray shirt, black jeans – all of it just OK. Totally did not get the glove thing – just not necessary. Bad Ass he ain’t. Those boots were not workin at all. Didn’t get the remix of the song. I think the guy can sing but he tried way too hard on this to show what he can do and wound up showing what he couldn’t. Agree with Randy, he’s a dancer trying to be a singer. Go hit Broadway up bro – this ain’t fer you.

Aaron Kelly, 16 – ‘Here Comes Goodbye’ – Plaid AE type shirt, jeans – yep, what a 16 year old would wear so I’m good with it. The swaying back and forth while he was singing made me dizzy. Country is totally his genre. He didn’t do totally awful on that – He did OK (just OK) – he’s one of these that he would probably sound better if you didn’t look at him sing . . . . And, he still reminds me of the Chicken Little dude from a few seasons ago – you know that Kevin dude. His voice don’t fit him.

Jermaine Sellers, 27 – ‘Get Here’ – The hat looks OK on him but totally rocks on me – Have it. The judges loved his look but it was just a little too much going on for me – I mean the tux jacket with the girl rose lapel pin – That wasn’t right. Black Henley shirt – staple in every guys closet, Express looking pants that were tucked into his boots (I am sooooo over that look!) – yeah – to much to look at. OK, I love this song (it’s a really old song) – but did not like what he did with it. He seemed totally pushed the whole time – screamed parts of the song where he shouldn’t – I’m giving this an overall rating of . . . . Nah!

Tim Urban – ‘Apologize’ – Now I know why they didn’t do a segment on him when they did the top 24 show – I KNEW I didn't miss it! - This is the guy that replaced the dude they kicked off for having a contract already. Dude has great hair – Sweet gray leather jacket – love it – want it – will have it – the search begins – black shirt and jeans – all of it worked for him. Now the guy totally has the look but when he opens his mouth to sing it all goes south! If he could have just stood there he would have been OK but unfortunately (for all of us) he has to sing. All of that was just bad – just plain bad. If he makes it through it’ll be on his looks cause the dude got no talent. Go model at A&F or AE or somewhere – this ain’t for you.

Joe Monoz, 20 – ‘You and I Both’ – Black jacket, black jeans, blue shirt and a big ole silver/black scarfy thing. I actually liked the scarfy thing. He wasn’t too bad and at this point has been the most tolerable of the bunch to sing so far. But so forgettable - As a matter of fact . . . . Joe who? What did he sing? Yeah – totally ten minutes ago.

Taylor Grady, 20 – ‘American Woman’ – Still looks like a 70’s porn star to me – especially the way he was dressed – have to admit that the purple shirt was totally rockin – loved that shirt and didn’t mind the purple long ascot type thing around his neck – black leather pants – have um. Now this guy thinks he’s hot and he totally has a very high opinion of himself. Let’s humble him down a little bit shall we? Him trying to be a rock star is like me trying to be tall – not gonna happen. When he sings that jaw looks like its gonna dent the mic – he needs a lotta work – and needs to wipe that ‘Look at me I’m great’ look off of his face.

Lee Dewyze, 23 – ‘Chasing Cars’ – Loved the printed ‘t’ – loved the green long sleeve shirt under – jeans were cool – if he would have had a beanie on – that would have topped it off nicely. Yeah – outfit was cool. First one of the night that I actually liked! I like this guys voice – liked it in Hollywood week and still like it. I hope he sticks around for a while cause I want to see what he can do. I think he’ll get better and better but on his performance here – Great job!

John Park, 21 – ‘God Bless The Child’ – Black suit coat – nice – purple v neck ‘t’ – nice – black pants – nice – BROWN SHOES?!? – WTF?!? Here we have another one – Like Tim – dude has the look but when he opens his mouth it goes high and to the right. That entire thing was a flat as road kill that had been run over by 13 semi’s! Now that’s pretty flat people. I’m giving this one a . . . . Totally sucked! I was expecting more from him but totally didn’t get it. Nah . . . .

Michael Lynch – ‘This Love’ - He’s a Personal Trainer?!? – Really?!? – Seriously?!? Yeah I know I’ve said that before but this is a real friggin ‘beef’ of mine – If you are going to train people – LOOK THE PART! Looks to me that all he can train people to do is eat! Sorry, but that just really gets on my nerves! I have a feeling that if Mike Tyson sang – this is what he would sound like. That’s what this reminded me of – Mike Tyson’s voice – this high squeaky voice coming outta this big ole dude. Didn’t fit. Plaid shirt and jeans – nuttin special . . . . just like his performance. Didn’t care for it – to pitchy. And, I am sick and tired of hearing about his ‘story’ – They had a child while he was in Hollywood – happy for um – now move the hell on! Damn – let it go!

Alex Lambert, 19 – ‘Wonderful World’ – Did he copy that haircut straight from Carol Brady or what! I’ve told ya’ll this before – 70’s – they are here to stay – they ain’t leaving! (I have soooo had that haircut before and have the pic’s to prove it – they are under lock and key though!) Tan suit coat, blue Henley and jeans – insert shoulder shrug here . . . . This guy was a nervous as a dude getting a prostrate exam for the first time! I could pick out some parts of that that were good (not many) and if he loses his nervousness he may be able to show us what he can do – until then – See ya!

Casey James, 27 – ‘Heaven’ – He has Bucky Covington’s hair. Freakin awesome white gauzy shirt with the pattern on the shoulders – I mean totally awesome – know why? Yep, I have it – I fill mine out a lot better though cause we all know this guy has never seen the inside of a gym. He really needs to work on that. The jeans were awesome – I have about 12 pairs of them like that and the boots were kickin – Yep – I approve of his attire. F*(K&^G FINALLY ! ! ! ! That was kick azz! Perfect song choice – great look – great stage presence – Yep – dude rocked it and this is/was the best of the night!

Side note – Kara is just to ridiculous for words – and that shirt she had on looked just as trashy as she is!

Andrew Garcia, 24 – ‘Sugar, We’re going down’ – Black shirt, jeans – standard staple – I’ll let him pass but that’s his last pass he’ll get from me – you only get one. I am so not digging the Buddy Holly glasses. Them some big azz glasses! I was hoping that this guy would do better than what he did. I was disappointed – He sang the song well – like the tone of his voice but the song wasn’t right for him and he played this way to safe. He needs to pick it up. He’s good but was way too ordinary for me tonight.


OK – here’s my top 3: Casey, Lee and then Andrew – in that order – the rest at this point doesn’t matter – they can send home whomever they choose as long as those three stay.

We’ll see what happens tonight.

Peace out!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

ART

OK – Girls night – And I’m gonna start off by saying this – If the girls, according to the ‘judges’ are the best of the season . . . . Then it’s gonna be one crappy season and tonight when the guys perform will really suck!!

The next three weeks will be Billboard Chart hits.

Ryan – Black shirt, black pants, plaid gray tie (told ya’ll plaid was back) – he looked like he got dressed one minute before the show started. Did you notice his belt was not centered like it should be the entire length of the show! Drove me nuts! Dork!

I never noticed before what huge ears Ellen has – must be that gawd awful haircut. . . . And with all her money you’d think she could afford a good stylist and not go to the Wal-Mart salon.

Paige Miles – ‘It’s All Right Now’ – All black, black mini short kinda frock, black tights, and a big ole silver ugly sash type of thang . . . . Where the hell do these people shop? She started out rough, got bad in the middle and continued along that path until the end. Sucked! The judges of course loved it. What are they trying to do . . . . Convince us? What are they hearing that I’m not? I don’t get it!

Ashley Rodriguez – ‘Be Happy’ – Wish she would have worn her hair down – she has beautiful hair and she’s a pretty girl but it stops there. Gold jacket, white shirt and black tight, tight pants, Shoes were kickin! Bad song choice for her and did not show her voice off, I think she may have a little potential but I am being generous (only because I’m having a pretty good hair day!) Overall it’s a big ole . . . . NEXT!

Janelle Wheeler – ‘What About Love’ - Purple one shoulder (never have been a fan of the one shoulder shirts – looks like it was never finished) with this big ole padded shiny thing on the shoulder and tight, tight black pants (musta had one hell of a sale on them pants cause you see them a lot tonight – even in gray!!) . . . . It looked totally second class. Huge Heart fan so don’t go messing with their songs unless you can sing them. (Janeen can totally do their stuff – I know, I’ve heard her – awesome!) Not good people! I can see both Ann and Nancy grabbing the paddles to get their hearts started back from where she murdered that song! I’ll give it a score of . . . . SUCKED – just like the first girl!

Lily Scott – ‘Fixin A Hole’ – (I love that tile!) - Green ugly halter style dress – I mean just down right ugly – no other word to describe it! She said she use to live out of her car . . . . musta been a 70’s model and that dress was left stuck in the back seat. Her hair looked like baby doll hair that had been chopped up by some sadistic kid! I’ll ask the question again . . . . What am I not hearing? The judges loved it – it was OK but a total no blower and didn’t fix a damn thing for me!

Katelyn Epperly – ‘Oh Darling’ – The black pleather dress was kinda cool but she screwed it up with all the accessories. The black feather made her look like she was molting, black patterned hose and that red, red lipstick just tackied the whole thing up! I do love her hair though. She did OK but that’s all I’m giving it is just an OK. She totally needs to work on her stage presence – ya know, like getting some!

Haley Vaughn – ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ - This chick has got a lotta lip – in more ways than one! All white with a big ole red guitar – white fluffy dress, white shoes, white tights and a (looked like a dead rabbit) head band sorta thang – she looked like the evil ice princess. She sounded like a cartoon character on crack the entire time. I actually covered Rusty’s ears on that one – poor dog, cause I know if that hurt my ears, his were really hurtin! Did not like this girl from the beginning, didn’t like her in the Hollywood round and still don’t like her – she totally cannot sing – give it up already and go back to the ice cave!

Lacy Brown – ‘Landslide’ – I don’t think I have ever actually seen anybody take a picnic tablecloth and wrap it around their body and wear it in public before . . . . until now. She topped it off with a big ole K-Mart, grandma section belt and there is them tight, tight black pants that were on sale that everybody bought. Lacy, Lacy, Lacy . . . . All I can say about her performance is I so hope Stevie doesn’t hear that because if she does, she’s headed back to the coke! I almost needed a snort just to get that outta my mind! Big Stevie fan – don’t mess with my Stevie!

Michelle Delamor – ‘Fallen’ – Cute black silk shirt with the little frill around the top and the bottom of that shirt was totally kickin! Here’s the tight, tight black pants that everybody has – only she got um in gray! Those low black boots were sweet and her hair was cake! This is the first one of the night that I actually thought gave a good performance and can actually blow. I started to see a small glimmer of hope but unfortunately . . . . It faded.

DiDi Benami – ‘The Way I Am’ – Crocheted lookin kinda vest with a black mini dress and Capri tight black pants. The 70’s will never leave us people – they are totally here to stay – that’s fine with me – I’m still livin like it was the 70’s – I’ll just leave it at that! I think she has a good voice but I didn’t feel this one at all – it left me . . . . Confused. Agree with what the ‘judges’ said – no star power there.

Siobhan Magnus – ‘Wicked Game’ – Black vest style dress with the frilly slip thing showing at the bottom and OMG! – Them shoes were so awful! Totally would not have picked that song for her. She had a few parts in there that I thought were OK but have totally already forgot what and when they were. She is totally out there! Totally needs to work on the personality! After she talked I only had one question in my mind . . . . Chick, are you high?

Crystal Bowersox – ‘Hand In My Pocket’ – Black jacket, grey shirt, black jeans – it fit her personality and honestly don’t know what else she could pull off – so for her, it was ah-rite. I totally hate that hair! It looks so dirty! She did look a little different with makeup on but not necessarily in a good way. I was hoping she would do better than she did – it wasn’t bad and she showed she can play the guitar and play the harmonica at the same time (big deal, I can lift weights and think at the same time – finally!) but it wasn’t a standout performance (hell, nobody was a standout performance tonight!). I’ll give it a, tolerable.

Katie Stevens – ‘Feelin good’ Black short strapless dress, red sash with a big ole bow, red shoes and a red headband – and pageant earrings. All of it a total miss! Now she thought she was knocking that outta the ball park didn’t she! She yelled most of it and TOTALLY agree with Simon – it was annoying! Song was way too old for her – she’s only 16. Need to pick more age appropriate songs if she makes it any further and I hope not cause she, like Haley, is already on my last nerve.

To sum up – The only ones that I liked to a degree was Michelle followed by Crystal . . . . And that’s it.

It leaves me puzzled to think that out of the thousands and thousands of people that auditioned for this show that we are hearing the ‘cream of the crop’ that America has to offer . . . . hmmmmmm . . . . If this don’t get any better – even I may miss a few episodes . . . . .

We’ll see if the guys can liven things up tonight. Hope so!

DJ JumperART President