And the Season 10 winner is . . . . .

The last show of the season and the winner is announced. This season did fly by! Is there really any reason for this show to be 2 freakin hours? Oh I know! FRIGGIN COMMERCIALS! And of course we have Mr. Dufus in another tux. I bet it was the same one he had on last night. This dude will never change (his clothes or anything else!) He keeps talking about all these voting records being broke. What he doesn’t say is that of course there is no cap on the number of times someone can vote. I still don’t believe the numbers. Scotty and Lauren are all dressed in white – they do this every year. For the first number they have the top 13 singing ‘Born This Way’ by GaGa. They are all in white as well for the usual cheesy choreographed number. But all in all when they are all put together they didn’t sound too, well, not all that great. I missed James’s performance – had to eat again. I missed Drama Queens performance on purpose! Now we got Casey singing ‘Flat Bottom Girls’ with Jack Black. Both of them dressed in gray suits with white shirts and black skinny ties. I approve. That was OK. Just OK. Next up all the ladies of the top 13. They be singing ‘Put A Ring On It’ They are all dressed up in red and black and all of um lookin fine! As far as the performance – it was OK. Didn’t blow me away. However when Beyonce walked out – now there is a different story! She’s so hot! And singing ‘Crazy Right Now’ – To sweet! Haley is singing with Tony Bennett – ‘Steppin Out’ – She’s in a black and silver sweet short dress, hair down and all fine! She looks hot! OK, the dude that was jumpin all over the stage – don’t know who that was but he was just ridiculous! So far this whole show is like ‘American Idol Losers Meets the Make-A-Wish Foundation Variety Hour’. Don’t think it’s gonna get any better. Now we got Scotty and Tim McGraw singing ‘Live Like You Were Dying’. Now there’s a pick me upper! That’s the song they chose to sing? Every time I hear that song – makes me want to open a vein. Couldn’t listen to it – Told Rusty to let me know when it was over. Ryan keeps saying that this is the best talent that America has to offer. Well, the economy is in the crapper and so is the talent – guess everything is going down. So Marc Anthony is going to treat us – Makes sense – you get to sing if you’re married to one of the judges. The only thing that he’s done that I liked was ‘Maria’. He ain’t done anything to impress me since and tonight is no exception. Two seconds into his performance I tuned out. Never thought I’d be glad for the commercials to come back but they are more entertaining at this point. Next the top 13 guys are singing a melody of songs and all dressed in black. Appropriate that they are dressed all in black – nuff said. Just looked at the clock – it’s 9:12. Only 48 more minutes to go! Whoa! Tom Jones done got all gray. How old is that dude? Hold on. OK, Just looked it up – He’s 70. So, OK. Now when Scotty and Lauren gave the keys to a new car to their teachers – Now that was cool! Best part of the show so far. And next we have GaGa singing ‘On The Edge’ – I have no idea what she’s on when she comes up with all of these costumes but I’d be willing to give it a try! Wish I had it now! Just looked at the clock again – its 9:26. Lauren starts off singing ‘Before He Cheats’ and out walks out Carrie! She looks amazing in an off the shoulder silver flashy shirt and white hot pants! Carrie, not Lauren. And we continue with Bono to keep filling up the time. That whole thing was just weird with Spiderman. Now it’s 9:48. Hold on now – The show just got good! Steven Tyler is singing ‘Dream On’. Now that was awesome! He ended it to freakin early! But so far THAT was the best part of the Variety Hour. Well they are still playing commercials and my PC and my phone say that it is 10:01. As usual they have added to much damn fluff! For the big announcement Lauren chooses to wear a yellow prom dress – She looked like Big Bird. Scotty is in a gray jacket, white shirt and jeans – He’s so flashy. AND FINALLY THE WINNER IS . . . . . Scotty aka Howdy Doody! So ends another season. Now that Survivor is off and now AI is off – I’m going to have to find something to do to fill the time . . . . Oh, I know . . . . there’s a bar right down the street! So that’s it my fellow ART’ies. Until next year. DJ Jumper, ART President.

Scotty vs Lauren 05/24/11

Well, the rumor mill and all the idol message boards are predicting that Scotty will take it. It’s a draw for me. Ryan. Whoa! The dufus has a tux on! Well, a dufus in a tux is still a dufus! And the battle begins! First up – Scotty – ‘Gone’ – Leather jacket printed purple crew neck that was way to big for him and jeans. Maybe if he wins he’ll get a good stylist! He did his usual with this one. He had fun with it and was all over the stage. All in all a pudry darn good job! . . . . Lauren – ‘Flat on the Floor’ – Black shirt, silver jacket, black leggings, boots, can you say tacky?!? She sounded just a little shaky on this one. I know she strained her vocal chord so I’m sure that’s not helping. She did OK but didn’t blow me away . . . . . Round 1 to me goes to Scotty . . . . Round 2! – Scotty – ‘Check Yes Or No’ – chosen for him by George Strait. Red plaid shirt and jeans – He’s worn that shirt before! Well, George Strait he ain;t, but who is? He did a fair job though. In comparison to George, it would be a no. For Scotty it would be a good job . . . . Lauren – ‘Maybe It Was Memphis’ – Chosen for her by Carrie Underwood. Carrie chose a Pam Tillis song, interesting. She has adorned herself in this gawd awful gold short pageant dress and silver boots! My eyes! My eyes! That was just wrong people! Just wrong! On this one she seemed a little rushed like she was just trying to get through it. All of it seemed forced. Round 2 – Gotta give it to Scotty again . . . . As for the ‘Positive’ song performed by whoever that was, all I can say is that I am positive that I will not be downloading that song! Round 3 – Scotty – ‘I Love You This Big’ – Gray jacket, white shirt and jeans. If he does get a stylist, they have got one heck of a job in front of them! I really liked the lyrics to this song. With nothing to compare it to, I actually liked it. I’m sure the studio version will be much better. He did a good job on that one. Good song for him really fit his voice . . . . Lauren – ‘Like My Mother Does’ – Here we go again with a long pageant type white dress and the pageant hair. Maybe she’s going for the Loretta Lynn thang? Not sure what she’s doing. Again, I really like the lyrics of the song and this was as well a good song for her. It fit her voice and when she walked out and started singing to her mother, that was cool. I’m sure that racked her up some vote’s right there. She did a good job on the song and she sang it with some passion. Yeah, she went off here and there but it’s the best she’s done tonight. Round 3, Gonna go with Lauren . . . . So after all the songs (and endless commercials! – song, commercial, song commercial, song commercial, song commercial! ) – I’m still going to go with the rumor mill and say it’s going to be a Scotty win. But, with the way voting has gone this season – Who the hell knows! . . . . So who do we add to the list? Season 1 – Kelly Clarkson, still around and singing great!, Season 2 – Rueben Studdard (Who?), Season 3, Fantasia Barrino, doing good on Broadway, Season 4, Carrie Underwood, megahit!, Season 5, Taylor Hicks, The true version of an American Idol one night stand – his record label dropped him the day after they signed him, Season 6, Jordin Sparks, done a little, not a lot. Season 7, David Cook, had some good hits, Season 8, Kris Allen (Who?), Season 9, Lee DeWyze (Who?) and for season 10 . . . . . . We’ll find out tomorrow night but I was so close to going ahead and typing Scotty’s name . . . . . We’ll see! DJ Jumper ART President

Top 3 - 05/19/11

Yeah, Yeah, I know I missed last week. Well, I didn’t miss it – still upset! Don’t know why though, a rocker has never won this competition and never will. The highest they get is 3rd or 4th and that’s as far as they go. What’s wrong America? Rock is not dead! If it wasn’t for rock, well, never mind! Now that Pia and James are gone – just pick a winner and ‘get r done’. They got three songs each and the show being mostly commercials – that’ll fill up the two hours! . . . . Ryan, I wonder if he’ll ever retire that suit. Better yet, he just needs to retire. First up – Scotty – ‘Amazed’ – Jean jacket, plaid shirt, jeans – seriously people! Seriously! That is totally Howdy Doofy! Perfect song choice for him. Totally fit his voice and he did his usual impersonation. Sorry Scotty fans, just no originality here! . . . Lauren – ‘Wild One’ – Red and White hip length cool shirt, jeans tucked into white boots. Looked like a walking flag. Is it me or is her caboose really growing? That was so-so for me. Of course the judges loved it – they would love a funeral! She’s done better. Nope, she didn’t sell me on that one. . . . Haley – ‘What Is’ – Sweet black dress that was way HOT! Awesome shoes – again, totally HOT! Her dad played the guitar – that was cool! She totally rocked that out! She outshined the other two with the first words that came out of her mouth. Awesome job! – Round 1 goes to Haley! . . . Scotty – ‘Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or What?’ – Blue plaid shirt and jeans – whadevah! – Love Thompson Square and that was a good song choice for him. More upbeat than his usual and much better than round 1 – this one I liked . . . . . Lauren – ‘If I Die Young’ – Another black and White prom dress. Black top big ole white skirt and I do mean big ole! Got her doing the Band Perry – love them too! She did much better on this one than the last one. It was a great song choice for her and it fit her voice. This one wasn’t bad at all. Did ya’ll notice the t-shirts her family had on? Now if that ain’t white trailer trash I don’t know what is! Seriously! I mean, show your support, but do it with taste! . . . . Haley – ‘Rhiannon’ - Short gray dress that she is once again totally rockin! Loved it when they turned the wind on her – HOT! I didn’t like this song choice for her. Nobody messes with Stevie! She started off OK on this and then totally lost it when the band kicked in. Her first one was much better. Huge Stevie fan here so can’t nobody compare to her in my book. Round 2 – pick somebody. Scotty – ‘She Believes In Me’ – Black jacket, printed white crew neck (no surprise on the crew neck), jeans, Oh well, Prada, he ain’t! That was just WAY to whiney for me – If he added just a little more whine, he’d be vintage! Lauren – ‘I Hope You Dance’ – Another pageant gown! More pageant hair! I get it now – she’s running for Miss Idol! She was way ahead of the music on that one! It seemed too rushed and this is a song that you don’t rush. She acted like she just wanted to get it over with. Again – she didn’t sell it . . . . . Haley – ‘You Outta Know’ – Blue shirt, black pants, awesome shoes. She tried to force this one out to much. She didn’t need that much force in the song. She went overboard to me. Round 3 – Another draw . . . . . We’ll see who gets the boot tonight – With the way the voting has gone this season – like I said – just pick a winner and ‘get r done! DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 4 Perform - 05/11/11

Top 4 perform. Ryan, I’ll be so glad when I don’t have to look at the dweeb anymore, and that damn gray suit! . . . . The final 4, Haley, Scotty, James, and Lauren. Only 14 days people – just 14 days. Damn, this season flew by! James, - ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ – Love Journey – still go to their concerts! The little Chinese guy sounds just like Steve Perry. He’s awesome. He just can’t talk. James has on all black again with a cool Tux jacket with tails – it’s black and we all know Steve only did white. James has the blonde hi-lights going on in his hair, guess it’s time for me to get them put back in mine – summer is here. Well, Steve Perry he ain’t, who is – except for the Chinese guy. He went off on the high notes to me on that one. He’s done better but then again I couldn’t help but compare it to Steve and the Chinese guy. I really need to find out that Chinese guys name . . . . Haley – ‘????’ – Hair up and all fluffy. Big ole matronly sequenced shirt on and shiny black pants. Looked like a soccer mom headed to a company function, ya know, like a drag queen. I have never heard that song before and don’t care to hear it again. I totally agree with Randy – she yelled pretty much all of that song. Even Jennifer said the same thing. Steven just needs to go to rehab and get off of the ‘love everything’ pills. It can be done! . . . .Scotty - ‘Where Were You’ – OMG, This Scotty The Body crap has got to stop. This dude obviously runs from the weight room. He did the Johnny Cash look – all black. Love this song, awesome song. Thought it was a great song choice for him but he mumbled most of it. Couldn’t understand most of the words because of the mumbling. He’s done better. . . . Lauren – ‘Anyway’ – She looked like a saloon hooker! No other way to describe that outfit! Just think about a saloon hooker and you got it! However, she did Martina proud on that one. Great vocals, good song choice for her. . . . . Round One in order, Lauren, Scotty, James, and Haley . . . . Round 2 . . . .We got Lady GaGa mentoring. Interesting choice. She looked like a skunk in drag, in other words – normal. This chick is sooo out there. . . . Haley – ‘I Who Have Nothing’ - Hair still up and fluffy, black cocktail dress, I’ll have a Jack and Coke please. Now that was 150 times better than she did on the first one. There was a lot of passion in that. She totally felt the song and it showed. She totally redeemed herself. Awesome job. . . . Scotty – ‘Young Blood’ – Red plaid long sleeve shirt that was way cool – because I own that shirt. His normal jeans and boots. That was so-so and I’m being kind. Those facial expressions just crack me up. He reminded me of Opie doing standup! . . . . . Lauren – ‘Trouble’ – She looked like she just stepped off of the Dynasty set. Totally 80’s. Big hair, big shoulders, Big hips. That was totally ‘cheesy’ to me. That’s it, nuff said, just way to cheesy. . . . . James – ‘Love Potion Number 9’ – Black leather jacket, red printed tee, jeans, again, all James. I was like ‘Seriously?’ when I heard he was singing this but that was fun! He had fun with the song and rocked the song out. He totally made that his own. Great job. . . . . Part 2 in order for me, Haley, James, Lauren and then Scotty. I have no clue as to who goes home tonight. Just a crap shoot at this point. Down to the wire my fellow ART’ies. How many of you are watching The Voice. Anyone interested in a blog on ‘The Voice’? Let me know. Peace out, DJ Jumper, ART President.

Top 5 to top 4 - 05/05/11

Top 5 to top 4 . . . . Ryan – Look its ‘Geeves’ – Go get me a beer and make sure it has two limes in it! . . . . Top 5 Group Song – ‘Happy Together’ – I ran outta crackers wid all that cheese they were slingin! . . . . So they sent them to Hells Kitchen and asked them all to make an omelet in 10 minutes – Lauren was the clear winner – she’s from the South – nuff said! . . . . Lady Antebellum – ‘Just A Kiss’ – I was hoping they would do ‘American Honey’ so that after they finished they could walk over to Scotty and Haley and say ‘Now that is the way the song should be sung – Don’t do that again! . , . . Did ya’ll notice Scotty in the segment they did on picking the song to sing – the dude had on gray short, tennis shoes and BLACK SOCKS! – BLACK SOCKS people! Seriously! What no wing tips? . . . . Here we go – James up first and after all the usual critiques he is sent to stand on the far side of the stage (like none of us can see what’s coming – they have done this for 10 friggin years!) They head back to another segment of Drama Queen and Lauren doing a head to head on a blind taste test – Drama Queen takes a bite of a hot dog and says it taste like sausage . . . . You people know me so I’m going to do ya’ll a HUGE favor and leave that one alone! . . . . . Next up Jennifer singing her new single ‘On The Floor’ – Just when the HELL did the MC Hammer pants come back in style? Please tell me they aren’t – those are so wrong on so many levels! I actually do like the song though and she actually brought it! – Then they cut to her ‘I’m Into You’ video – How many noticed that looked an awful lot like Janet Jackson’s ‘Miss You Much’ video? Don’t believe it? Look it up on youtube! . . . . Drama Queen joins Lauren, Haley joins James – yep, so know what’s coming! Mr. Fake Tan calls up Scotty and immediately tells him he’s safe and asks him to go stand with the group the he thinks is safe. Scotty of course would not do it – Good for him – this crap is so old! So our bottom 2 are Lauren and Drama Queen . . . . . (The anticipation is KILLIN me!) Lauren immediately turns on the water works and after a slight hesitation Mr. Sears Suit announces that FINALLY THE DRAMA QUEEN IS EXITING THE BUILDING! ! ! ! ! ! Praise JESUS! Bout TIME, Don’t let the door hit you on your way out! Head on back to da church! Just GET OUT! . . . . To sum up, he won’t be joining us next week. So now we are down to the top 4. I see a Haley, James show down . . . . . . Until next week! DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 5 Perform 05/04/11

Top 5 perform . . . . Ryan, He really does look like a Sears’s mannequin! . . . . Mentor this week is Sheryl Crow. She’s cool. Did ya’ll know that Fleetwood Mac was looking at replacing Christine McVie with her when she left the group? . . . . . James – ‘Closer to the Edge’ – Rocker vest, sleeveless shirt, black jeans, chain from the side, all of it James. He needs me to train him on them arms though. I could get those arms in shape! He as usual rocked that out. He worked the crowd and stage great. Dude is at home. Awesome job . . . . Drama Queen - ‘No Air’ – Black jacket with big ole white trim, white v neck t, black pants, he looked like a Polaroid negative. Yep, I hated it. Nuff said. Well, I’ll just add that I can’t stand him. Hold on a sec! Randy didn’t like it! Well, Randy finally woke up! . . . . Lauren – ‘????’ – All black with silver fringe type adornments hanging from her neck and waist. Hip boots were HOT and her hair was pillow worthy! She looked HOT! Yep, right song for her. Glad she did something more up tempo. She rocked that in her own way. Not to bad, not to bad at all . . . . Scotty - ‘Gone’ – Again Mr. Plastic Face calls him ‘Scotty The Body’ – me laughs! Jean jacket, gap shirt, jeans and boots, lather rinse repeat! Right song for him and like Lauren glad he did something more up tempo. It was much better than last week. Those facial expressions are just laughable though . . . . Haley – ‘You And I’ – Now she is SMOAKIN! And I mean SMOKIN HOT! Black leather sleeveless that hugged her body in all the right places and those awesome semi sequined taupe pants that like her shirt hugged her in all the right places! DAYUM! Never heard this song before and according to the judges hasn’t been released yet so I have nothing to compare it to . . . . So, she sang OK on it to me. Jennifer had a good point. People want to compare to what they are familiar with so this song choice may have hurt her . . . . Round 2 . . . . James – ‘Without You’ – Black Henley with chains, black and white striped pants, great arm wear. He pulled it off. Ah, we have tears. Grow a pair! He did really great on the high notes but to me fell short when he tried to sing the low parts. He can’t do low. Also agree with Randy here, the low notes fell flat but all in all I’ll give it a pass . . . . Drama Queen – ‘Love Hurts’ – Gray suit, purple shirt, pass the collection plate. Ya’ll sitting down? I actually like the way he started it off! But, as usual he went into his over dramatic style and ruined the whole damn thing! After that I quit listening . . . . Lauren ‘–‘Unchained Melody’ – Blue and White pageant dress with the accompanying pageant hair – If I was judging her in a pageant she’s probably be 4th. Yes, I judge beauty pageants. Believe it or not directors have trouble finding men to judge beauty pageants – they call me – I go! The song was way too big for her. Some songs should just be left alone and this is one of them. She couldn’t pull off the high parts when she needed to . . . . Scotty - ‘Always On My Mind’ – Black jacket, light gray shirt, jeans, boots, Boring, Boring, Boring (but Prada he ain’t) OK Scotty fans – even ya’ll have to admit that he went off key on a lot of that. And for me he was to ‘twangy’ so I sum it up this way – outfit was boring and so was the performance . . . . Haley - ‘House of The Rising Sun’ – Different black shirt that was also just as sweet! Smokin pants with the holes in the knees – Baby, she had it all on the money tonight! When I heard she was singing this I thought, hmmmmm, but did she ever prove me wrong! That was pure DOPE! Best I have EVER heard her do! Totally the best performance of the night and the perfect way to close the show! That was AWESOME! . . . . . So there you have it . . . . We’re getting closer people! Is it REALLY May already?!? We’ll see who is sent a packin tonight – Ya’ll know who I want outta there! DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 6 - Elimination show 04/28/11

Top 6 cut – Who’s going home? . . . . Ryan, he’s just a cheesy goober . . . . They start off with a melody of Carol King songs. If I was Carol, I would run straight to my lawyers and sue every one of them! That was just terrible. All of them was as off as wearing brown shoes with black pants! That was just wrong! I literally burst out with laughter at how terrible it was, especially when the Drama Queen piped in . . . . Cyrstal Bowesox – ‘Riding With The Rodeo’ – She looked her usual. Her hair was much tamer, not as ratty. Cool crochet shirt, blue vest, boots and jeans. Still think she should have won last year. We all know how that went down. Crystal out sang Lee. Lee out fanned Crystal . . . . Did yall notice Casey sitting on the couch biting his nails? He’s so classy. I could take yall through all the draggin out of the verdict that they did. I have never seen a show in my life that can fill an hour with so much fluff. Can you remember when the elimination shows were only 30 minutes? I can. These writers must have a friggin degree in Fluff! So to make this simple it boils down like this . . . . James, safe . . . . Lauren, safe . . . . Haley, safe . . . . So the bottom three are, Drama Queen, Scotty and Casey. The first thing Mr. Personality does is send that dammed Drama Queen back to safety. I seriously have no idea what the hell people see in this fool. Between Scotty and Casey, its Casey’s last turn at bat. The game is over for him and now he can sit on his own couch and bite his nails in them ugly shorts that he seems to love so much. At the beginning of the show Mr. Gray Flannel Suit says that everyone will be so disappointed with who was going home tonight, he was correct. I could have put up with another week of Casey . . . . Have no desire to hear the Drama Queen ever again. That’s it for another week and we have our top 5 . . . . There is only one that I consider top material at this point and that’s James. The others just need to be weeded out. Ya’ll have a great weekend – Catch you next week! DJ Jumper, ART President.

Top 6 - 04/27/11

Top 6 . . . . FYI – Writing this at a bar drinking Margarita’s – just sayin . . . . Ryan – one word – DORK! . . . . Jennifer looked like an Indian call girl, all she was missing was the feather . . . They are doing Carol King songs tonight – LOVE HER! . . . . I could really go into all of the ‘medications’ I use to take while listening to her stuff but for those of you who know me well – you know what those are . . . . They chose Baby Face as a mentor to Carol King songs, seriously? . . . . First up is the Drama Queen – ‘Oh Baby’ – Dude (and I use the term loosely) has on a purple checked jacket, vivid blue vest, yellow shirt, striped bow tie, black pants and yellow shoes – looked like a box of Crayola crayons exploded on him, or a clown on crack! This dude cannot dance – he has no rhythm at all! His performance was just as bad as his outfit. Can’t stand him, Can’t stand to look at him, can’t stand to hear him talk, and can’t stand to hear him sing. This clown needs to go back to the circus! . . . . Lauren – ‘Where You Lead’ – On shoulder multi colored knee length dress with a big ole blue belt and them cowboy boots again. She loves them things! Hair was straight and lookin fine. Now she did jam up on that one – yeah she went off on a couple of notes but all in all a pretty good job. She ain’t no Carol – but who is? . . . . First duet – Haley and Casey – ‘I Feel The Earth Move’ – Haley lookin hot in a short black sparkly sequined strapless and hot shoes! Casey in a black suit and white t-shirt, and crew at that. Boring! I’ve seen that performance many times on the cruises I have been on and threw up over the balcony after it was over . . . . Scotty – ‘You’ve Got A Friend’ – Mr. One Suit called him ‘Scotty The Body’ – Well, I considered the source on that (Mr. No Arms) and let it go. Blue ‘pleather’ jacket, white Henley, jeans, boots, same ole, same ole but Armani Exchange he ain’t. Didn’t really care for that. Felt out of place for me. I mean, it’s Carol King and totally out of his element. Of course the judges just loved it – they would applaud, give praise and a standing ovation to someone walking out on stage with an hour glass, setting it down in the middle of the stage, turning it over, and walking off. They need to take a real pill . . . . James – ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow’ – Gray vest, red Henley, black pants. He was totally toned down. OMG! The first part where he sang with no band was awesome and then when the band came and he broke it out – that was awesome! Nobody is going to be able to top that tonight. Dude totally rocked that song and totally made it his own. Damn good job. I wonder what meds he’s on – need to check that out! . . . . Second duet – ‘Up on The Roof’ – missed it – spilled my Margarita – had to call 911 . . . . Casey – ‘He De Hi’ – Black suit, white shirt, Frank Sinatra hat and a pee green tie. This dude thinks he is so much better than he actually is. Nothing wrong with a good self image but, DAYUM! – He is totally doing theater and not singing and he’s turning into another drama queen. If I want theater I know the websites to visit. Over him . . . . Haley – ‘You’re Beautiful’ – Short tan frock with open sleeves. Sleeves were way cool. She actually looked pretty good! Steven Tyler said after she finished singing that he saw God. Dude totally needs to take a downer. It wasn’t that damn good! It was OK, but did it give me an out of body experience – that would be a NO! . . . . Third Duet – Drama Queen and James – Didn’t see it – when I heard the Drama Queen was going to sing again I decided to pay my tab and head home – didn’t want to throw up in my truck. As long as James don’t go home, all will be well. We’ll see . . . . . DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 7 Vote Off - 04/21/11

Ryan (aka Mr. Ego) – Yall do know that his ‘entrance’ – with him walking down the stairs was at his request. Back to the black stand in. I wonder if he has an understudy? . . . . Lauren, Haley, Stephano and Drama Queen – ‘Hey Soul Sister’ – Looking at the Drama Queen attempting to dance was just, well, comical! Didn’t hear a word of the song – spent the whole time laughing at Drama Queen trying to bust a move – speaking of bust – that’s just what he was about to do – bust outta those pants! . . . . Scotty, Casey and James – ‘Viva La Vida’ – They TOTALLY screwed up everything about that song. WAY off key! I’ve done better than that drunk off my azz at several bars! That was totally awful . . . . First set of results – Mr. Ego brings up Casey and Drama Queen (I can’t even stand to hear it talk!) – between the two of them Drama Queen is in the bottom 3 – and sho should be! . . . . Missed David Cook – started returning 31 test messages – most of them about Drama Queen dancing! He got no style! . . . . Second set of results for Lauren, James and Stephano – Out of these 3 Stephano is in the bottom. No surprise here. He then brings up Haley and Scotty – out of these 2 – Haley is in the bottom. So, we have Drama Queen, Haley and Stephano in the bottom. I already know how this is gonna end. Mr. Inflated Head immediately sends Haley back to safety leaving Drama Queen and Stephano – I already know how this is gonna end! . . . . Katie Perry – ‘ET’ – ‘Not invited to the other side of sanity’ – Best freakin lyric! I’m watching this and I can’t get over those costumes of them ‘beings’ that are dancing on stage. One has to wonder just what combination of drugs can put ideas like that in ones head. Being a child of a ‘particular era’ and having spent a great deal of time on the ‘other side of sanity’ – with every combination I tried – I never saw anything like that! The occasional bird coming out of the wall, yes, stuff like that, no. After Katie, we hear the usual blah, blah, blah and Mr. Black Suit finally announces that Stephano will be leaving us. I knew it and it sux! I do not have any idea what the hell people see in Drama Queen. This show is NOT what his type of music if for. ‘America’s Got Talent’, yes, ‘American Idol’, NO! Oh well, I know how to hit the mute button when it sings. Ya’ll have a great Easter Weekend! Hope da Easter Bunny is good to ya! DJ Jumper ART President

Top 7 - 04/21/11

OK – We got songs of the 21st century tonight. Sounds pretty current to me . . . . Ryan, Hope yall are sitting down for this! I know ‘Mr. Personality’ had on his usual gray suit but it wasn’t his usual – that suit was totally kickin! Loved those skinny lapels and even approved of the black skinny tie. Awesome suit and it would look totally sweet . . . . On anybody else. I could so rock that suit . . . . . First up, Scotty - ‘Swingin’ – Camel colored leather jacket, plain white shirt, jeans, boots, same ole, same ole. He does hold the mic like a flute and he does sing out of the side of his mouth. As far as the song, it was WAY to cheesy for me. He didn’t do is normal on that one and I have to agree with Randy – it was boring . . . . James – ‘Uprising’ – He’s looking very British tonight. All black again but that ¾ jacket was totally cool. Steven summed up the outfit perfectly – ‘Madd Max meets the storm troopers on Melrose’ - I want that jacket but where would I wear it living in po-dunk SC. As usual he totally rocked that! Freakin awesome! This guy just rocks! Gonna be hard for anybody tonight to top that one! Dude is on a roll! . . . . Haley – ‘Could Have Had It All’ – She looked kinda 50ish (the era, not the age) – Her hair looked like Veronica Lake and she had on a Lucy red polka dot dress. I though she looked hot! – What that says about me I’m not sure – I’ll consult my therapist. This was the PERFECT song choice for her. She did a jam up job on that song. This is what she should have been doing all along. She hit that one right on da head! Totally awesome but James was still better . . . . Drama Queen – ‘Dance With My Father’ – Black shirt and a pewter shiny suit – he looked like a molded tin man. OK, did yall catch that everybody from the interviews called him a Diva – I KNEW he was over sweetened by 2 extra cups of sugar! Once again – same ole same ole – over sang, over done, over yelled! To my surprise the judges weren’t as blown away by him this week. Bout damn time! Jennifer summed him up pretty good last night when she said ‘Because you have so much emotion – it takes you off’ – EXACTLY – They have pills for this ya know! . . . . Casey – ‘Harder To Breath’ – Black jacket, plaid shirt, cargo pants – he looked ‘bummy’ – Say what you want Casey fans but he yelled the majority of that song. It was to fast and off course – AND, that corny kiss up to Jennifer at the end made me throw up a little. He gets a big ole – ‘Whad-evah!’ . . . . Stephano – ‘Closer’ – He’s doing Ne Yo? Nuff said. – In the interviews they said that he would flirt with a piece of paper – like there’s something wrong with that. He adorned a black v-neck tee cool gray pants and suspenders – suspenders? When the hell did these come back? He did much better the past couple of weeks and has landed in the bottom each time so this outta put him in the top. Too much of a wannbe performance to me. Vocals weren’t as strong. He concentrated more on his moving around the stage than he did singin . . . . Lauren – ‘Born To Fly’ – He hair was HOT! Long denim skirt, denim jacket, white shirt and cowboy boots. The outfit was totally rodeo but again the hair was HOT! – I love Sara Evans so I immediately went into comparison mode and she didn’t do it justice. She didn’t totally kill it but it was a sever wound. Nah, don’t mess with Sara! . . . . So another week down. Who’ll be in the bottom? No clue! I hope this is the week we say goodbye to the Drama Queen but he’ll probably still be here next week. Okie Doke ART’ies. We’ll see what happens tonight. Ya’ll have a happy Thursday! DJ Jumper, ART President.

Final 8 Vote Off - 04/14/11

Ryan - Personality is defined as; The totality of qualities and traits, as of character or behavior, that are peculiar to a specific person. I find it peculiar that he likes to wear the same suit all the time. What a dork! . . . . WTH did Jennifer have on? She looked like an Egyptian call girl! . . . . First up for our entertainment is Scotty and Lauren singing Lady Antebellum, 'American Honey'. Charles Kelly and Hilary Scott they ain't. Love this song and there was only one word that describes that . . . .MURDER! That was just not right! . . . . On the zombie commercial, when they were showing how they made the commercial, Drama Queen screams like a girl, Big surprise! . . . . Next up is Haley and Casey singin 'Moanin'. Now why can't Haley do that freakin awesome all the time. She totally nailed that song! Had me moanin! Casey, not so much. . . . . First set of eliminations Mr. Bland brings up Lauren, Casey, Scotty and Haley. Out of these 4 Haley is in the bottom 3 and after last nights performance should be. She was so awesome just a few minutes ago but last night she just didn't cut it. . . . . They brought in Rob Reiner for something. I'm really not sure why other than just to add some filler cause none of that made any damn sense. . . . . Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson singing 'Don't You Wanna Stay' - Love this song and Kelly is still freakin awesome. Every note she hits is dead on. OK, got to say it, She needed that dress in about 3 sizes bigger. . . . . Ya'll catch the commercial for 'Cowboys and Alieans'? One word. Seriously? . . . . Now we got Drama Queen, James, Stepahno and Paul singing 'Sound of Silence' and 'Mrs. Robinson'. The four of them actually sounded good together. They could make a great quartet if they would just get rid of the Drama Queen. But, that would be a . . . . Trio, Yep, that's it, a Trio. Mr. Peculiar walks up and out of these 4 Paul and Stephano complete the bottom 3. OK all of you Drama Queen fans, fill me in. Seriously. . . . . Rhianna - 'California Dreaming' (I Think). All she needed was a few white streaks in her hair and she would have been the perfect double for the Bride of Frankenstein. She whined that whole song. I wanted her to do S&M! Now that's a song! . . . . After all the hype we got Stephano, Haley and Paul in the bottom 3. Mr. Dull sends Haley back to safety and drops the axe on Paul. Not really surprised. He left singing us out with 'Maggie Mae' which was one of his best. Now maybe he will hit the gym and get some meat on his bones. There you have it my fellow ART'ies. Only 7 left. Is this season flying by, or is it just me. I did get some new meds though. . . . . Ya'll have a great weekend! . . . . DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 8 - Songs of the Cinema - 04/13/11

They opened with a repeat of Pia being voted off and Jennifer crying and saying 'OMG!, I wish there was something we could do' to which I yelled at the TV - To LATE - you used the save to soon! . . . . Ryan - Copy, Paste insert comment - BOREDOM! . . . . Jennifer was named the Most Beautiful Woman - Question, Who picked out that Family Dollar barrette she had in her hair? . . . . So we have Songs of the Cinema this week . . . . First up - Paul -'Ole Time Rock N Roll' - He adorns another Porter Wagoner suit this week. He retired the white one and pulled out the black one. This one is all black with red and green flowers all over da sucker! Black shirt and a red ascot. Just when did ascots come back? Dude really needs to join a gym. He's a stick! He did his usual on that one - much like he did last week but I'm growing tired of him. I know just what and how he's going to perform. Over it. He's becoming 'adorkable' (Thanks Janeen!) Just FYI, I said the suits were Porter Wagoners WAY before Randy did! . . . . Lauren - 'The Climb' - The mentor dude said that she was a much stronger singer than Miley - well, who isn't. Black and silver top with a poofy netted skirt, cowboy boots, and weird arm wear. I don't think she could make up her mind if she was going to the prom or a rodeo - Maybe a prom for the rodeo? Don't know, the whole thing was a mess. Wasn't to blow away by this performance. I mean it was OK but that was it. Of course the judges LOVED it. They would love and give praise plus a standing ovation to a dog walking on the stage and relieving himself. They need to get real. She was off on certain notes and just not that 'wowed' as the judges seem to be. . . . . Stephano - 'End of the Road' - Striped banded v-neck with a white polo underneath, jeans and high top tennis shoes with the jeans tucked in them. This would work . . . . if you were 12! His performance on the other hand was like 'Whoa!' Dude blew that outta the water. This was TOTALLY his best to date. He has stepped up his game and he's ready to play! . . . . Scotty - 'I Cross My Heart' - I still cannot get Howdy Doody outta my mind when I look at him. Dark jacket, dark jeans, printed shirt, it was his usual. Don't know what else you would put him in though. Hollister, he ain't. He's no George Strait but he nailed that one. It's his niche, it's his roots, it's what he knows and he goes with what he knows will work for him. The last note was a little off though. Other than that - Good job Scotty. . . . . Casey - 'Nature Boy' - Greenish gray suit, white shirt and a brown ascot. Again with the ascot stuff! All he was missing was the funny little hat and he's have the perfect Sherlock Holmes outfit - or an Amish hittin the town. The weirdness of his outfit totally matched that song and the way he sang it. That was just totally weird! Of course the judges just went on and on about how wonderful it was but people please! That was a big ole bust. The song was weird, his facial expressions were weird and his general attitude is just getting weirder! And as for the crying thing and falling to his knees on the stage - OMG! GROW A PAIR! He can leave anytime now. The save was totally wasted! . . . . Haley - 'Call Me' - She had on a short multicolored sequined thingy with high boots. The boots were cool - dress, not so much. This one is summed up real easy and I agree with Randy to the fullest - total karaoke! Nuff said! . . . . Drama Queen (aka Grizzly Adams, Thanks Ken!) - 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' - A tan suit with a white shirt, tacky cuff links and tacky earrings. Whad up rev? He didn't look any to happy when this song was chosen for him - I mean he looked like somebody just took his sucker from him. Once again that was overdone, over sang, over dramatized. A beautiful song that should be sung the way it was meant to be sung. Janeen, go on that show and show them how! You could record this baby! I just can't stand the guy or his attitude! Please exit the building! . . . . James -'Heavy Metal' - Black jacket, gray printed crew, black jeans - all of it him, and it works for him. That totally ROCKED! Best performance of the night! That was DOPE plus grits and gravy! Loved it! DURBIN ROCKS! He makes me so glad I found my roachclip! . . . . Top one for me was James - the others - pick one and send them home. Oh, them mentor dudes have very high opinions . . . . of themselves! we'll see what happens tonight. Yall have a great Thirsty Thursday! Happy Hour is NOT that far away! DJ Jumper, ART President

Top 9 Vote off - SHOCKER!

Ryan - this dude only knows gray or black. I wonder if he only has gray or black underwear. If so, it's probably a thong. Now that I think about it - He does walk funny. Gotta say that the outfit that Jennifer had on made her look like a lava lamp. She had the genie hair going on too. Group song - A Hall of Fame melody. Melody being the operative word here. Melody is defined as; a linear succession of musical tones which is perceived as a single entity. In its most literal sense, a melody is a combination of pitch and rhythm. Janeen - you tell um! They should have done their research. Did ya'll notice how Pia looked tonight - I did! Black tight pants, Black body hugging one shoulder sweater and on the long sleeve had a seductive zipper. Note to self - Breath DJ, Breath! She is so HOT! They brought in Russell Brand to help the group with stage presence. He's so cool. Love this guy. If you haven't seen 'Get Him To The Geek' you need to. Love that movie. The kids got it for me for Christmas and I've watched it about 9 times. Gotta go see Arthur! Here we go - first set of eliminations: Mr. One Suit brings down Casey, Stephano and Lauren. From these 3, Casey and Lauren are safe and Stepahno starts the bottom 3. Constantine - 'Unchained Melody' - He's from season 4. He's still the same - hair is longer but that's about it. Black leather jacket, white shirt, gray pants and weight liftin gloves. Like he would know what a weight was used for. As far as the performance - I liked the drums - the yellin he was doing - not so much. I got the answer to my questions as to who dressed Pia in the Gateway Computer box outfit. It was Gwen Stephani. I use to like her - not no more! Second set of three for eliminations; Mr. No Personality brings up Paul, Scotty and Pia. Out of these 3, Scotty and Paul are safe and Pia is in the bottom three. My jaw dropped to my knees. Even Rusty looked up and let out a little whimper. Looked at him and said I can't believe it either! OK - Gotta go see THOR! That's gonna be awesome - THOR and I have so much in common! Loved the TMZ spot - to cool - and when it showed Harvey standing on that wooden block, I lost it! Makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only short dude out there! Last set of three; James, Haley and Drama Queen (to which he will be referred to from here on out) - Out of these, James and Haley are safe and Drama Queen is in the bottom 3. He should be here if for nothing more than his attitude. Remember what he said last night and Mr. Thong Man called him out on it to! 'If I am in the bottom it won't be because I didn't sing well, it will be because America is not ready to look in the mirror' - What a piece of work. Well look in the mirror now bud - you're in the bottom 3! Iggy Pop - 'Wild One' - OK, I had to look this up - He's 63. The whole thing was comical but hey I give the guy props. If I can still be jumpin around at 63 - I'm GONNA! But I'm gonna do it with a beer in my hand! So the bottom 3 are Drama Queen, Stephano and Pia. First thing Mr. Sears Suit does is send Drama Queen back to safety. I hate this guy. Then announces that Stephano is safe and Pia is gone! OMG! SEE, this is EXACTLY why those stupid judges should not have used the save so early. I even told a bunch of people that said oh no, they should have saved Casey that what were they gonna do if Pia was on the block . . . . AND this is EXACTLY what happened! An awesome talent is voted off and a big ole singing leprechaun remains! This sux people, this just sux! Oh well, I am bummed, bummed I tell you, just bummed, yes bummed is what I am, totally bummed. Now I have to go answer about 200 text messages and get on FB. I shall have to drink heavily for the next couple of days. Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know, I'm gonna do that anyway but now I have a purpose! Till next week . . . . DJ Jumper ART President

Top 9 - Rock N roll Hall of Fame 04/06/11

OK – Let’s start with widdle ole Ryan like I always do – How many of yall caught the CMA awards? In case you didn’t let me inform you as to what Mr. One Suit was wearing . . . . Yep, you guessed it! THE SAME DAMN SUIT! He must think he is a cartoon character or something. I mean we all know that the Simpson’s, Charlie Brown and The Flintstones all wear the same clothes all the time so I think that he has some weird cartoon fantasy thing going on . . . . OMG! OMG! THAT’S IT – He IS a cartoon character – I KNEW he couldn’t be real! He’s just sad. The top 9 are singing songs from the Rock N roll Hall of Fame this week. Did yall notice that when they walked out they were all wearing black and gray combos . . . . well, all except ONE! . . . . So here we go . . . . Jacob - 'Man In The Mirror' - As from the previous - here is the exception the the black and gray combos - This dude is in all white - He looks like the Good Humor man, or the Michelin Man - take your pick. He was going to sing "Let's Get It On' - glad he didn't because I don't know if I could have sat through that. Have to ask?!? - Did you catch this obstinate 'being' say that - 'If I end up in the bottom it will not be because I sang the song bad it will be because America was not ready to look at themselves in the mirror' - Well, let's just all bow down to his greatness. After he said that - it immediately set my tone for listening to him. And as his usual he OVER dramatized it, OVER sang it, OVER did it, and I'm OVER IT. Can we just send this guy home and move on please. Haley - 'Piece Of My Heart' - She had on this black flowy dress kind of top thing that was black and white striped - black shiny pants and had her hair kinda crinkled. Hair looked good but she looked like she was playing dress up. The judges kept telling her to do Janice, well, she did. It didn't seem to fit her as much after she did it. I mean, she did OK, just OK for me. The growl parts were fine but otherwise, it was just a non blower for me. I'll give her a pass though. Casey - 'Have You Ever Seen The Rain' - Gray shirt with white collar, black vest, gray pants, kinda out of the norm for him - it was a shoulder shrug at best. He pulled out the upright bow for this one and it worked for him. He added his 'Cayce-ness' to the song and pulled it off. Totally not John Fogerty but who is. Lauren - 'Natural Woman' - Black jacket, Black/White checked short one piece thing - black vest - black tights - black boots - What no ascot? - that's a lot of stuff people! Way to much! Don't like her hair pulled back. Looks better down. She did good on that one. She's totally no Aretha and she did not do it as well as Kelly did in season one so she don't rank up there with them but it was a good job - I didn't hate it and I didn't change the channel so it was OK. James - 'My Guitar' - Black jacket, black/white shirt, black jeans - staple outfit - it was James toned down and kinda boring. He decided to do a ballad and slow it down this week. Not sure I cared for that all that much - I like this guy when he rocks it out. I know he wanted to try something different - different is good as long as you don't get arrested for it. He pulled it off and the last note was kickin but I like this guy more energized. Scotty - 'That's all right Mama' - Jean shirt - jeans - boots - YAWN! - He did good on this Elvis tune. He totally had fun with it and it showed. Glad he went more up tempo and with his voice it would have been hard for him to screw that up - and he didn't. Oh, the little 'scene' with the little 'teeny boppers' running up on the stage - some people will do anything for 5 bucks - I know, cause, well . . . . Never mind. Pia - 'Rive Deep Mountain High' - Here's a question. Who the HELL dressed her as a Gateway Computer box?!? That did nothing for her at all. That made her look 'hippy' and frumpy. That necklace didn't even go with the rest of the box. She's a beautiful girl and that was just wrong! She went up tempo as well and of course she performed the song with her usual greatness. She can sing - period! She's totally the front runner! Damn good job! Stephano - 'When A Man Loves A Woman' - black shirt, black vest, black pants, silver tie. It worked. OK, where did all that come from - I didn't think he had all that in him - This is probably his best performance to date. Agree with Randy that the beginning was a little shaky but after he got into he belted that out with no problem. Yep, good job bro! Paul - 'Folsom Prison Blues' - Black skinny suit with a white ruffled shirt. Like Stephano - this worked for him too. Now that's the way to come out of your shell Pauly! That was cool. Like Stephano I didn't think he had that in him but he showed us he did. He finally showed us that he can do something other than the slow quiet songs. He needed this after last week. Good for him! So - there you have the Rock n Roll Hall of fame week. All in all not too bad. As to who will be in the bottom - I know who I want there but who knows . . . . We'll see tonight! Happy Thirsty Thursday! Come on Happy Hour! DJ Jumper ART President

Vote Off - 03/31/11

Well it would appear that I was correct in my assumption last night – There it is. It’s back. This proves my theory that it was just in the cleaners and after 3 years it sure did need one I’m sure. Either that or it just went out for a walk by itself or it was rebelling against suit abuse. Nonetheless, I figured that the different suit was just a freakin fluke! Got a new thing this season – they break um up in pairs/groups, have them sing and then deliver the news. Ok, new concept. I’m always open to new things (this constantly gets me in trouble but I assure you I am never bored!) First up – Scotty & Lauren – ‘I Told You So’ - That was actually pretty damn good. Lauren totally rocked the high notes. It reminded me of the Randy/Carrie version but without the weird looks at Carrie from Randy. That was just creepy. Yep, not bad at all. Liked that. So, out of these two – they both are safe – as they should be. Next out of the gate – Niama and Jacob – ‘Solid’ – OH PLEASE! Did I really have to see Jacob ‘try’ to dance? Now there’s a part of my life that I can never get back! I’m sorry people (No I’m not!) but I think Jacob is a little mental. He of course over sang and over dramatized the whole thing and Niama did her usual. Out of these two Jacob is safe and Niama is in the bottom 3. OK Jacob fans – tell me what I am not hearing or seeing. They both can go as far as I’m concerned. Fantasia – All decked out in red and singing her new song – ‘Collards and Cornbread’ – Seriously? The song is called Collards and Cornbread. Seriously?!? From the looks of it she has been packing in the cornbread along with a couple of ham hocks and rice and gravy! Collards and Cornbread? Please! Next up – Haley, Thea and Pia – ‘Teenage Dream’ – With the exception of Pia – Katie has no reason to be shakin in her boots. That was just sad more like a teenage nightmare. Out of these three – Pia and Haley are safe and Thea is in the bottom – as she should be. Now we got . . . . Paul, Casey, Stephano and James – ‘Band On The Run’ After that was over all I could say was . . . . ‘WTH?’ I can just see Paul (The rich Paul) contacting his people and telling them to make sure that they did not do that again. Out of these 4 – Casey, safe, James, safe, Stephano, safe, Paul – in the bottom 3 – not really surprised. So our bottom 3 are Paul, Thea and Niama. Now we have a special appearance by Jamie Foxx and Will I Am. I have NEVER made it a secret about how I feel about Jamie Foxx! So, with that being said – I personally feel the absolute worst comment that you can give to anyone or anything is no comment . . . . so, No Comment. After all the hype and drama filled air (insert sarcasm here) Mr. ‘One Suit Pony’ announces that Paul is safe and it’s bye-bye for Niama and Thea. Not surprised here and think they should be going home. So ends another week of Idol my fellow ART’ies! Ya’ll have a great weekend! There are several bars that need my attention this weekend so I must now plan my wardrobe. Peace! DJ Jumper ART President

Top 11 - 03/30/11

OK – Ya’ll calm down – I’m back now - Been out of town for the past two weeks. I watched all the shows when I got back home and we’ve lost Karen and almost lost Casey. As you all know the judges used their one and only save to save Casey. Say what you want but that was WAY too early to use the save. So the save is gone so now the show will just proceed as normal – BUT no more second chances . . . . Would I have used the save on him? That’s a no. He cool and has his moments – but do I think he will win it at this point – that’s a no to. OMG! OMG! Did ya’ll feel that freakin cold draft cause HELL DONE FROZE OVER! Ryan is actually wearing a different suit and his hair is different! IT’S A DIFFERENT SUIT! IT’S A DIFFERENT SUIT! Rusty even noticed it – he looked up at me with this WTF look on his face! The only explanation I have for this is that the old one just must have gotten to funky smellin that he HAD to change it – I mean come on – He’s been wearing that same suit for the past 3 YEARS! Now the interesting question is – Will the same suit reappear – meaning it’s just back from the cleaners or will we be seeing this double breasted number he had on for the next 3 years? It’s definitely a question to ponder . . . . I still can’t believe it! I can’t wait to tell my therapist! So they spin the ‘Wheel of Theme’ and it landed on Elton John – If I was there I would have said – ‘That’s a do over – spin it again!’ Scotty – ‘Country Comfort’ – Black leather jacket, jeans, printed gray t-shirt – and crew. OMG, Crew is so dead! I know I know I keep sayin it . . . . Well, LISTEN! OK people, I like country music – goes great with beer (but then what doesn’t!) but that was just a little too whiney for me. The judges loved it – because they love everything – but not so much for me. The grandma shout out was corny! I mean he did his usual on that but he’s boring me. He needs some pep! Niama (or however ya spell it) – ‘I’m Still Standing’ – A one piece white pin striped jump suit with big ole green, orange and red stripes down the side. All she needed was the big ole red clown nose and the big ole red clown shoes! That was AWFUL – and speaking of awful, she took this song and tried to turn it into a reggae thang. That was like a bad cruise line performance – in the karaoke lounge – after about 12 drinks. That sucked! And, WHOA!, Jennifer and Randy didn’t like it! FINALLY – some truth! That just did not work and the outfit she had on was more entertaining than her song. Side note – Just who is that mentor guy – Is he like somebody or something? Paul – ‘Rocket Man’ – He’s got that Porter Wagoner suit on again. He wore this during Hollywood week. A repeat outfit is such a fashion screw up! Although he did change the shirt and tie – this time he wore a red shirt and black tie with it – but as my ole grandma always said – ‘You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t!’ As with Scotty – he did his usual on this one too. He sounded a little off in parts of that but all in all it was his usual. He needs to come out of the zone that he is in and much like his suit – he needs to start shining. He did say that he was retiring the suit after this performance – we’ll see cause I tend to notice stuff. Step it up Pauly! Pia – ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me’ – Now talk about a vision! DAYUM! Short long sleeved silver number with the hair all down and straight and those ‘Baby I’m Ready’ shoes! Get me an EKG cause I gotta check my heart. She’s just so freakin HOT! HOT! HOT! AND she sang that perfectly – as usual for her! She ain't got to worry about the sun going down cause she is always gonna shine! She’s got this! DAYUM! Stephano ‘Tiny Dancer’ – Gray vest – have it – White shirt – every guy has it – gray dress pants – have um, so – Good job – I have the same outfit but fill it out much better! But dude, lose the freakin tennis shoes man! Who was he listening to? He actually did better on this song than he has in the past weeks. I actually listened to the whole thing. So, I’ll give him a good job on this one. He needed to come out of his slump. Yep – I gotta say it – Cut the peach fuzz off! Lauren ‘Candle in the Wind’ – Black strapless cocktail dress – Hair all scrunchy – Like her hair better this way – fits her face. But what was with the long tail on that dress – that need ta go! This song def fit her voice better. Was actually kinda wholesome and sounded on key to me. Pretty good – she needs a good week. Good for her! Side note – ‘I’ve loved you from the very first moment you laid eyes on me’ – Oh please, I used that line in kindergarten! James – ‘Saturday Nights All Right’ – Black leather vest, printed T – crew neck but I’ll let him pass cause he wore a cool scarf thing over it - black jeans with the red stars down the side and with the hole in the knee – I have those – got um in Boston - All of it cool and all of it James. Man, he was all over the stage! LOVED IT! Oh yeah, he rocked that as I thought he would. Dude has massive energy and you can tell he is having the time of his life. Go for it bro! He rocks! I like this better than Elton’s version. Thia – ‘Daniel’ – White short eyelet dress with a brown rope belt – She looked like she was ready to head out to the garden party. This is probably my favorite Elton song (and that’s saying allot because not an Elton fan here). Not many people can do this song and she falls among that group. Sorry hun, she went pitchy on that one and it just didn’t work for me. She didn’t do anything that didn’t make me compare it to the original. That’s not good. Casey – ‘Your Song’ – Does he not have but that one pair of shorts? If not, out of all of the shorts that he owns, he chose to bring those? Seriously? WTH was that suit he had on made of – a dyed cocker sack? His hair and beard did look better though. OK, I take it back – this is probably one of my favorite Elton songs – so I have 2. There were parts of that that I liked and parts that I didn’t like. It’s a mellow song so when he tried to put his ‘Cayce-ness’ on it – it didn’t work – took away from the song – he was trying to kinda rock a slow song – that never works. He did however surprise me with the last note – didn’t know he had that in him. So all in all I’m giving that one a . . . . ‘Didn’t hate it but didn’t love it. Jacob – ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ – I KNEW he was going to sing this! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Dressed all in black with a sweet little red flower in his lapel and an untied red bowtie. Gimme a break! This guy gets on my nerves! As his usual he went WAY over the top on that one. He OVERDOES EVERY DAMN THING! AND when he opens that mouth so wide – he don’t have no head! The guy is talented – true – but this is not the competition for him – put his azz on Broadway and he’ll do great but on this show he is becoming one hell of a nuisance! Cut, Print it, Call it a wrap and send him home! Haley – ‘Bennie and the Jets’ – Low cut light gray low cut (did I say low cut twice – It needed repeating) - sparkly thing that would have looked good if it was shorter. That was way to long on her. Her hair was kickin though. She did a lot of growlin in that song. Couldn’t stand the song from day one and she didn’t do anything to make me like it either. But I think she did the best she could with what they threw at her. Of course all of the judges just raved over it but whadevah . . . . I thought it was . . . . Insert a look to the left here’ . . . . . So there you have the top 11 Elton John week. They vote off 2 tonight. As long as Pia and James stay - just pick two and send um packin! Ya'll have a great day and I'll hit ya up tomorrow. Peace, DJ Jumper ART President

First Elimination 03/10/11

The first Vote off . . . .

OK, before I start with the first vote off – I gotta talk about Survivor! So, Russell got voted off week before. The tribe actually threw the challenge to get this a-hole off! He gets sent to Redemption Island where the tribe told him that he would be challenging Francesca and found Matt! LOVED IT! He goes up against the challenge with Matt and Matt beat him! He’s off! He’s gone, and take that nasty hat with ya!! He said in his interview that he would never do Survivor again. Good! Ain’t karma a bi^&h! They voted off Kristina this week. I wish it would have been Phillip! He’ll be gone soon enough I hope because I cannot hear about him being an ex federal agent one more time – and them pink underwear that he walks around in – Seriously! Ok, I’m done . . . .

Now to the vote off . . . .

Did ya’ll see that long sweet coat Steven had on with the leopard print lining – That was bad azz!

Did ya’ll see that one shoulder white shirt with the big puffy sleeve that Jennifer had on – That was just bad!

Ryan – I cannot imagine going through life wearing the same suit! I mean, come on!

They start off with the usual group song, this time a Michael Jackson (the good years) melody. They were all off key and it appears they have retained the same cheesy chorographer for another season. They were totally lip syncing so wonder why the producer didn’t get the off key stuff. Nothing changed in this section this season.

And we’re off . . . .

Ryan calls up Jacob, Karen and Stephano – after the usual drama filled moments he announces that Karen is in the bottom 3 and she should be!

Adam Lambert – ‘Aftermath’ – He got the Elvis hair back on! Black jacket, printed T and its crew! He of all people should know better – I mean he has people and if they ain’t telling him that crew neck is done then he needs new people! The lyrics to that song are cool but didn’t care for the arrangement – to slow for me. He did his usual Adam.

Next set of elimination announcements Ryan calls up Lauren, Ashton and Haley. And after the fastest announcement of the bottom three in American Idol history, Ryan says that Lauren is safe and that Ashton and Haley are in the bottom joining Karen. Totally agree with this bottom three at this stage.

Diddy Dirty Money – Missed it – Had to heat up my fourth chicken brest of the day for meal number 7. Protein people! Protein! From the kitchen it sounded like the radio version – it was probably lip synced – can’t judge – didn’t see it.

Finally after all the fluff and guest appearances it’s Ashton that must sing for safety. She decides to do the same Diana Ross song that hardly anyone has heard of again. Was it just me or was that one worse than the one she did Wednesday night? After she sings its Jennifer that announces that they will not save her. If they would have used their one save at this point that would have been . . . . Well, just crazy!

So after the first week and first set of eliminations, we say good bye to Ashton.

Hope ya’ll have a great weekend! I KNOW I will! Plans are being made as you read this!


DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 13 perfrom - 03/09/11 - I checked the date Ken!

Top 13 perform . . . .

Ryan – There’s that suit again. It’s like herpes, it keeps coming back . . . . And so does he! Dweeb! For you newcomer’s – I’ll let you in on a secret – Don’t care to much for Ryan.

Lauren – ‘Any Man of Mine’ – Mint green dress over black pants and Pic N Pay black shoes. Hold on a sec ya’ll . . . . OK, I’m back. I had to check the calendar on my laptop and verify it by my phone – Yes, it is 2011! IT’S BEEN DONE – MOVE ON! Her hair looks better curly – straight – not so much. She sounded off key to me on that one. Was not the best song choice for her – hated the ending – it was like a hard push on the brakes with a silent skid. Agree with Steven – Was not Kick Azz enough. Wanted more from her.

Cayce – ‘Little Help from My Friends’ – He said he first heard this song when he was 5 – Yeah, me too! This dude does not need to be wearing shorts – those legs have ever been the sun! Cool black jacket, black pants and printed T – such a staple, every guy has it – so whadevah . . . . When I heard that he was doing a Joe Coker song I said, He’ll knock that right outta here . . . . And he did! He nailed that! That was dope!

Ashton – ‘When you tell me that you Love me’ – Long silver one shoulder night gown. She looked like she was ready for bed. (I could go many places here people!) She did have the Diana hair going on though. I have never heard this song before. She sang it good but it didn’t blow me away. She’s done so much better. Randy hit it – To safe. This girl can blow up a storm but didn’t do enough last night to rustle leaves. Pick it up!

Paul – ‘Come Pick Me Up’ – Awesome jacket, black with red trim, red shirt, black tie, black pants and ‘I’ll kick yo azz’ boots! It was Sgt. Pepper, only updated. Ya’ll know I don’t like normal! I like this guy’s voice but this song didn’t do to much fer him. Wish he would have picked a better song. So I’m giving it just an ‘Insert turned up nose look here’. Oh, he dances like he’s drunk, so I get it!

Pia – ‘All By Myself’ – This girl is soooo HOT! No way in hell she will evah be by herself! DAYUM! Sweet short one shoulder silver number. Not a fan of the one shoulder but she can do it! Her hair was pillow worthy! Didn’t really care for the sheer curtain looking thing coming off the back of it – took away from something that didn’t need a dam thing! Shoes – OH YEAH! This chick can sing! She picked a Celine song and when she was singing it – I did not compare it to the original. She’s got it. Somebody pick me up . . . . I’ve fallen!

James – ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ – Awesome red/black leather vest, white v-neck tee under – and left out so it shows under the vest – totally the way to wear it – just like I do – black pants, cool scarf and arm wear – I want it! To sum up – he passed! Just as I figured, dude rocked that. This dude is awesome! Loved it! Keep it up bro!

Side note – Randy got allot of picking up to do with all the name dropping he was doing last night.

Haley – ‘Blue’ – Whoa! Why hello there Miss Cleavage! Earrings that hung down to her collar bone – really? Black long low V frock – only part I liked about it was the top. She totally looked like she was doing a hula dance when she sang. I was expecting to see a mountain rise behind her and the birds fly from the deep blue sky with sun kissed maidens and warriors descending from the mountain as the brilliant sun shines in the background. I have no idea! It’s just the way my mind works! But to continue – She sang Blue and after she finished – I was. That was boring and off key. Didn’t feel a thang from it – well, except blue.

Jacob – ‘I Believe I can Fly’ – Ok, here we go . . . . Gray suit, black shirt and a picnic table cloth tie. Gimme a break! Said it last time, sayin it again and yeah, you’ll hear it again – this dude just ain’t my style and I CANNOT look at him sing. His facial expressions remind me of some people I knew that were in rehab. You know there’s something going on in there . . . . But what? He is talented, no doubt about it – BUT, in my opinion and we all know it is all about me – his voice can be heard everyday on the radio – just turn it on and it’s there - And, he always goes overboard and does too much – just sing the song normal! Ok, I’m done now. – Next!

Thea – ‘Smile’ – She had on a long gray strapless frock with a white top – it was to short and it was way too old for her. Hair – to flat – I know, it’s not the 80’s, but a little life in it would be good. That song did not make me smile. As a matter of fact after she finished I had no expression at all. A rarity for me! The arrangement was just too weird; she was off in parts . . . . Already forgot about it. Nah!

Stephano – ‘Lately’ – Black leather jacket with gray sleeves – cool! I want it! – Blue shirt, cool tie, cool jeans – all of it – cool! Good job bro! However; lose the peach fuzz man – give it time, it’ll grow. That started off to slow but he pulled it out. He hit the high notes good and actually kinda surprised me in a good way. There’s a three quarter smile here.

Karen – ‘I Could Fall’ – Hair slicked back – pageant earrings and I’m sure that Cher is pissed off that she stole her Bob Mackie one of a kind original that is sold at every TJ Maxx. She picked a Selena song – All I gotta say is . . . . OH HELL NO! Pick a key sweetie - Find a note hunny. That was so bad that all I’m gonna say is . . . . . ‘Bless her heart’ – and all of us from the south knows what that means!

Scotty – ‘The River’ – Gray print shirt - black boots, black jeans – all he was missing was the rope and big ole hat. No surprise here. Again, I don’t do normal. He did his usual on that one. Dude is totally country and he’s got one heck of a voice but Randy and Josh have cornered the market on that voice. He needs to do something to break the comparison and break out of the mold. I mean, just like prescription drugs, after a while they don’t do nothing for you anymore.

Naima – ‘Umbrella’ – She looked, well, funky. Black tube with stripped bottom, gray bedazzled jeans turned up and calf high tenny pumps. Like her outfit, that song had a lot going on – to much going on. She threw too much in there. Change is good but sometimes it’s better to leave it alone. The rap in the middle – not necessary. The whole thing was just too much and all over the place.

So there you have the top 13. Who goes home tonight? This stage in the game way to early to speculate. All in all not to bad of a show.

Just FYI – I had appointments at the gym last night and didn’t get home until after 10. I DVR’d the show and watched it when I got home – after fast forwarding through all of the commercials and fluff – I was done in less that 40 minutes.

For me Pia, Cayce and James were the shiners last night.

We’ll see who’s sent packing tonight.

Ya’ll have a fantabulous day!

Peace!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Top 12 (well 13) announced 03/03/11

First Vote off and Wild Card Selection – 03/03/11

First off – Why is this show two hours? I mean, come on! I know, I know, they have to make it two hours to get all of the advertisements in. Just a thought, if all of these advertisers took have of their advertising budget and put it toward the nation debt – we’d be gold in what, about 2 days? And I get up at 4:00 a.m. to get to the gym! Anywhoooo . . . .

Ryan – Well there is the same gray suit that he had last year. Just like his normal black one – only gray. He’s just so . . . . ho, hum . . . .

OK, So they bring them up one by one and announce who has made the top 10 and who has not. From the ones that did not make it – the judges will choose certain people to sing for their survival and be added to the top 10 to make up the top 12.

Here’s the top 10 that got in without having to sing;

Scotty – Howdy Doody!
Lauren - fav
Pia - fav
Karen – don’t agree – she sings in many languages – all at the same time!
Jacob – again – just not my style – he can sing, but not my style
Casey – Is it me or does he look like he needs a bath?
Thea
Paul - fav
Haley
James - fav

From the remaining contestants the following had to sing for a spot in the top 12;

Ashton – ‘Am I’m Telling You’ – She totally nailed that!

Stephano – ‘I Need You Now’ – He totally nailed that one too! I have no clue why he picked the song he sang the other night. This song showed off his voice.

Kendra – ‘Georgia’ – She didn’t do very good on this one – tried to take the voice to low and it just didn’t work.

Jovanny – ‘Angel’ – If you read my last post you know singing half English and half Spanish is a pet peeve of mine and . . . . He went there! He did his usual on this song but not enough in my opinion to get him a secured spot. Oh – that two toned shirt he had on – I WILL have it! That would look awesome on me! The search begins!

Niami – ‘For All We Know’ – To drawn out at the start but she picked it up.

Robbie – ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ – His performance – insert shoulder shrug here . . . . .

After all of the nail biting drama and Jennifer’s new video – She stated that she knew they were running long and needed to make a quick decision but somehow there was enough time to show her new video. . . . AMAZING how it’s OK to run long to get her new video in!

After the huge video premiere – (it wasn’t that great) – we are subjected to just a little more drama suspense filled moments and the names are finally revealed . . . .

To round out the top 12 we add Ashton (well DUH), Stephano (Well DUH) and oh my, to add extra excitement to the night we add a 13th contestant – Naimi.

So there you have your (now) top 13!

I’m pretty OK with most of them – some of um – they ain’t gonna last to long.

There’s our first full week of AI – many more to come.

Ya’ll have and outstanding weekend – I know I’m going to! The plans have been set in motion!

Talk to yall next week!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Girls Night - Seasaon 10 - 03/03/11

Girls Night . . . .

OK – what’s with all the slow song? Some of um made me want to open a vein . . . .

Ryan – Well, Well – What a surprise – same black suit, dull shirt, same black tie. All that money and he has only the one suit. Kinda sad.

Ta-Taynisa – ‘Only Girl In The World’ – What the hell did she have on? She looked like Barbie from da hood! Strapless big ole hoopy skirt thang and bobbie socks – Really? That didn’t cut it for me. Not the best song choice for her. Way to sharp in places. This girl can sing but that song just didn’t cut it. She needs to work on the song choices. Kinda bummed.

Naima – ‘Summertime’ – So, she designed the bright gold frock she had on all by herself. That big ole band aide thing she had in the middle made her look like a broke banana. OK – leave the classics alone people or sing them like they should be. They will always be compared to the originals so why put yourself out there like that. She did OK on it and she can sing I just didn’t care for her rendition of the song. If she would have sang this the right way it would have been much better.

Kendra – ‘It’s Impossible’ – Now here we go! Black Killer shirt with the ‘come to me’ straps! – Awesome tight black shiny pants, hair long and looking hot! – Shoes were totally ‘CFM’. – She worked dat! Sang it great, worked the stage – went for it. Great job! What did she sing again? Not sure – but she looked hot!

Rachael – ‘Criminal’ – Oh hunny, Bless yo heart, you can’t do sexy. The red dress with the black overlay was totally cool and would have looked awesome . . . . On someone else. She looked like she was playing dress up to me. Song was way too big for her and totally agree with Steven, that was Broadway. She’s outta her league.

Karen – ‘Hero’ – Long green one shoulder number – Big Woo – totally from the sale rack at Ross. Her hair was straight and looked better straight. Pet Peeve here – Pick a language! Not a fan of singing a song half Spanish and half English. Flip a coin – make a decision and stick to it. This song, as Rachael before was too big for her. She tried to put her own take on it and it wasn’t awful it’s just that classis such as this song will always be compared to the original artist and will never measure up. Didn’t completely hate it but already forgotten about it.

Lauren ‘7 Day Fool’ – Black/Silver tune dress with black tights and just basic black shoes. Hair looked OK but not a lot you can do with that except cut it – The idol stylist will get a hold of it soon – just wait for it! Another one that I didn’t hate but didn’t love either. I’m giving her an OK for that one only because I just got back from spin class and feeling pumped!



Ashton ‘HAVE NO CLUE’ – Awesome blue bustier, sweet black tight pants and ‘Look at me! shoes – neckwear was sweet! Yeah, she looked HOT! I have no idea what song that was that she sang but I liked it! Girl got some chops and she showed um off last night. Good job – like this girl! Girl can sang!

Julie –‘Breakaway’ – Is she going to the prom as soon as she leaves the stage? That’s exactly what it looked like. Big ole poofy prom dress and the hair in the up-do! Don’t like her hair up – she has gorgeous hair – leave it down – I wanna see it! Again – bad song choice for her – always going to be compared to Kelly and she just didn’t pull this one off.

Haley ‘Fallen’ – Damn sexy black short tube dress with the Gold bands down each side and killer pumps. She sang this one pretty good. Actually kinda hot. She needs to work on the stage presence some but it ain’t gonna take much!

Thea – ‘On My Own’ – She had on this short (I have no idea what color that was) feathery looking bottom with a gold top. Kind of a bird lookin thing but it was OK. This girl sang the hell out of that song. Excellent job! Her pitch was right on. Damn good job!

Lauren –‘ Turn On The Radio’ – Black bolo jacket, white hip hugger shirt, tight black pants – it was cool and it all worked for her. Now this girl has got it – that was totally rice and gravy! Definitely one of the best of the night. As Randy put it – and I agree – she is Urban, R&B and Country all rolled up in one. She’s a watcher!

Side note – She called Ryan ‘peaches’ – nope, not EVEN shocked!

Pia – ‘Stand by You’ – Sweet black short number – form fitting at the waist – NICE! And nice pumps too! She can come stand by me! One word . . . .’WHOA! – Now that was awesome! She got a standing ovation from the judges and the audience and she should have. Excellent way to close the show – that was CANDY! I take it back from the previous, Now THAT was the best of the night!

Girls started a little shaky for me but then got better and totally have it over the guys at this point.

Standouts for me – Kendra, Ashton, Thea, Lauren and Pia. Last night with the guys there were only two - Paul and James.

OK – The send um home show is on tonight . . . . We’ll see who I won’t be writing about next week. For most of um – it’s just a toss up.

Also – if ya’ll remember for the previous years, the first show is always the most ‘tricky’ if you will – first time on stage in front of all them people – nerves kick in and some of um fall under the pressure. We’ll see tonight who made the cut!

Not sure who got voted off Survivor last night. I’ll have to pull the recall from my on demand channel and see what happened. I hope it was Phillip! Ya know he use to be a federal agent during his federal agent days that he was a federal agent working on his federal agent stuff making him a very busy federal agent . . . . but he wears pink underwear so I think there’s a story there . . . .

Until Tomorrow . . . .

Peace!

DJ Jumper
ART President

Season 10 - Guys Night - 03/01/10

Season 10 people! Season 10! That means I was just 29 when I started this.

Who will we add to the list?

Season 1 – Kelly Clarkson
Season 2 – Rueben Studdard
Season 3 – Fantasia Barrino
Season 4 – Carrie Underwood
Season 5 – Taylor Hicks (The true version of an idol one night stand – his contract was dropped faster than Ruebens!)
Season 6 – Jordin Sparks
Season 7 – David Cook
Season 8 – Kris Allen
Season 9 - Lee DeWyze
Season 10 - ????????

OK – Let’s go!

Ryan – Ya’ll recognize the suit don’t ya! He’s worn that same ole black suit for the past 8 years! He’s such an old man! His hair does look better though so I’ll give him props on dat but that’s it! I’m thinking hair plugs. Maybe, just maybe the blue/grey shirt he had on was new but I doubt it! We’ll see that one again.

Just a side note – I want to be like Steven Tyler when I grow up!

Clint Jun Gomboa – ‘Superstition’ – Black sweater with black leather trim, plaid shirt, ugly black pants, were those felt? – And some fugly red shoes. He got all of that from B-Blah Inc. Dude, all those glasses are missing is the mustache and bushy eyebrows. Go to H Ruben and either get a new updated pair or get contacts. Seriously? The judges liked it but I don’t think this showed off his voice at all. He has sounded much better with other songs that he sang. For me it was just a big ole . . . . NEXT! . . .

Jovany Baretto – ‘Greatest Time of Your Life’ Grey vest, grey pants, white shirt, arm wear was cool but the rest was Sunday School – all he needed was a bible in his hand. He needed one to pray for a better performance. I mean he hit the high notes good but that started off way to slow and shaky. He can do better than that. Song choice sucked. Get it together Jovanny.

Jordan Dorsey – ‘Love You Down’ – black jacket, black pants, purple v-neck tee. At least he got the v-neck right – crew is dead! I liked the purple v-neck tee because I have it – I fill mine out a lot better though – thousands of people can’t be wrong. I can sum that up in two words, which are – ‘Sucked A$$’. Ain’t nobody gonna love him down, up, over or under after dat! Pitchy, off key, all over the place. I’m surprised Usher didn’t send someone out on the stage to point their finger in his face and say ‘Oh NO you didn’t!’ – Gonna give that one a . . . . See ya!

Tim Helperin – ‘Come on Over’ – Black jacket, green patterned shirt left open and out – black tee – should have been V – LEARN PEOPLE! All in all the attire was OK – it worked for him so I’ll give it a pass. He sang ‘Come On Over’ – made me want to ‘Leave Right Now’ - totally the wrong song for him - Did nothing for him – Bad choice bro. Nope – not good. Tim who?

Brett Lowenstein – ‘Light My Fire’ – OMG! – Every season has one that just grates on my nerves and . . . . Here he is! Green crew tee (I expected this of him) – gray vest, jeans, arm and neckwear were OK but ya know, there ain’t no way you can dress that up! Watching that was like watching bad porn and YES!, there is such a thing! That was awful – Jim is rising from the grave as I write this to do a line and get that out of his head for all eternity! Hell, even I may have to!

James Durbin – ‘Another Thing Coming’ – Cool black shirt over a green v-neck (He got it right!) – Black pants, cool shoes, Hair and arm wear was KICKIN!. Totally worked for him – good job bro! FINALLY! That was awesome! Dude knows who he is – knows the right song to pick and knows how to sing it! He rocked that! High notes were custard and cream! Now that's the way to do it! He’s the one that was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome so I’ll say it . . . . .That was &*&*&( *(#*^&$*&# &*(#*&($#() AWESOME!

Robbie Rosen – ‘Arms of The Angel’ – Whoa! That thing is huge! The 5 words every guy wants to hear but not when they are talking about your nose. Ah, come on – If I didn’t say it – you would! Black jacket, white printed tee, black pants – wake me when he gets some style and wake me when this is over! He sounded like the angel was squeezing the air out of his lungs! I’ve heard this guy belt out much better stuff than this before – totally wrong song choice. I expected more from him. To me he sang like he had a big ole noogie in that honker. Tissue please!

Scotty McCreery – ‘Letter from Home’ – Black leather jacket, plaid black/white shirt and jeans – Wow, how unlike him. Boring! OK, is it just me? I mean am I the only one that doesn’t see Howdy Doody here? – I mean a few freckles; add some string and you got a show! And, them facial expressions – That must be one hell of a math problem he got goin on in his head – you know something as hard as 2 + 2 . . . . or nawt times 4. Anywhooo, he picked a song that totally fit his voice and he did good on it. I’m just waiting for him to shake his Josh Turner wanna be image and find his own niche.

Stephano Langone – ‘Just the Way You Are’ – Cool black leather jacket, red v-neck (Yep, kudos for getting it right!) dark jeans – red v-neck was totally cool – yes, I have that one too. The v on mine is lower – it’s called the deep V – shows the cuts in my chest. Again – thousands of people can’t be wrong. He was real shaky in parts of that and some of them high notes he hit sent da boys runnin north! I didn’t get it – Judges loved it – I’ve already forgotten it – except that he had on my shirt and it didn’t look as good on him.



Paul McDonald – ‘Maggie May’ – Black jacket, Black shirt, Black pants, killer boots – Now this is the way you wear all black! Yes, this is the way I wear it – minus the flower! Oh, and the belt was killer! OK now – this was the perfect song choice for him. Did ya’ll hear him sing Blackbird? He did awesome on that to. The whole thing was cake! Dude totally nailed it. Best of the night so far!

Jacob Lusk – ‘I have NO idea what that song was – somebody fill me in!) – Black suit, beige shirt and one frog ugly tie. Sorry Jacob fans but this guy just isn’t my style. That was totally boring to me. I enjoy a stomach virus more. I couldn’t understand a word that was coming outta his mouth. He has sounded better but he’s one of those that I can’t look when he sings. I mean, when he opens his mouth – his face disappears. As the Men on Film so aptly uttered those famous words . . . . ‘Hated it!’

Casey Abrams – ‘Spell On You’ – Black suit, green shirt, stripped crew (dumb azz) under – and the shoes sucked. He looks like that guy from Knocked up – can’t remember his name – but don’t he?!? He yelled most of that song. I totally didn’t feel anything for that except relief when it was over. Liked him better during the Hollywood round. He needs to pick it up. He can do better than that.

Me thinks the nerves got to most of these fellers tonight – some of these guys are good and it just didn’t show tonight – Oh well, first show is over and we’ll see what happens from here.

There were two total standouts here – Paul and James in that order. The others – just pick two and send someone to help them pack.

Girls tomorrow night . . . . .

Peace out!

DJ Jumper
ART President