Top 11 - 03/30/11

OK – Ya’ll calm down – I’m back now - Been out of town for the past two weeks. I watched all the shows when I got back home and we’ve lost Karen and almost lost Casey. As you all know the judges used their one and only save to save Casey. Say what you want but that was WAY too early to use the save. So the save is gone so now the show will just proceed as normal – BUT no more second chances . . . . Would I have used the save on him? That’s a no. He cool and has his moments – but do I think he will win it at this point – that’s a no to. OMG! OMG! Did ya’ll feel that freakin cold draft cause HELL DONE FROZE OVER! Ryan is actually wearing a different suit and his hair is different! IT’S A DIFFERENT SUIT! IT’S A DIFFERENT SUIT! Rusty even noticed it – he looked up at me with this WTF look on his face! The only explanation I have for this is that the old one just must have gotten to funky smellin that he HAD to change it – I mean come on – He’s been wearing that same suit for the past 3 YEARS! Now the interesting question is – Will the same suit reappear – meaning it’s just back from the cleaners or will we be seeing this double breasted number he had on for the next 3 years? It’s definitely a question to ponder . . . . I still can’t believe it! I can’t wait to tell my therapist! So they spin the ‘Wheel of Theme’ and it landed on Elton John – If I was there I would have said – ‘That’s a do over – spin it again!’ Scotty – ‘Country Comfort’ – Black leather jacket, jeans, printed gray t-shirt – and crew. OMG, Crew is so dead! I know I know I keep sayin it . . . . Well, LISTEN! OK people, I like country music – goes great with beer (but then what doesn’t!) but that was just a little too whiney for me. The judges loved it – because they love everything – but not so much for me. The grandma shout out was corny! I mean he did his usual on that but he’s boring me. He needs some pep! Niama (or however ya spell it) – ‘I’m Still Standing’ – A one piece white pin striped jump suit with big ole green, orange and red stripes down the side. All she needed was the big ole red clown nose and the big ole red clown shoes! That was AWFUL – and speaking of awful, she took this song and tried to turn it into a reggae thang. That was like a bad cruise line performance – in the karaoke lounge – after about 12 drinks. That sucked! And, WHOA!, Jennifer and Randy didn’t like it! FINALLY – some truth! That just did not work and the outfit she had on was more entertaining than her song. Side note – Just who is that mentor guy – Is he like somebody or something? Paul – ‘Rocket Man’ – He’s got that Porter Wagoner suit on again. He wore this during Hollywood week. A repeat outfit is such a fashion screw up! Although he did change the shirt and tie – this time he wore a red shirt and black tie with it – but as my ole grandma always said – ‘You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken sh*t!’ As with Scotty – he did his usual on this one too. He sounded a little off in parts of that but all in all it was his usual. He needs to come out of the zone that he is in and much like his suit – he needs to start shining. He did say that he was retiring the suit after this performance – we’ll see cause I tend to notice stuff. Step it up Pauly! Pia – ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me’ – Now talk about a vision! DAYUM! Short long sleeved silver number with the hair all down and straight and those ‘Baby I’m Ready’ shoes! Get me an EKG cause I gotta check my heart. She’s just so freakin HOT! HOT! HOT! AND she sang that perfectly – as usual for her! She ain't got to worry about the sun going down cause she is always gonna shine! She’s got this! DAYUM! Stephano ‘Tiny Dancer’ – Gray vest – have it – White shirt – every guy has it – gray dress pants – have um, so – Good job – I have the same outfit but fill it out much better! But dude, lose the freakin tennis shoes man! Who was he listening to? He actually did better on this song than he has in the past weeks. I actually listened to the whole thing. So, I’ll give him a good job on this one. He needed to come out of his slump. Yep – I gotta say it – Cut the peach fuzz off! Lauren ‘Candle in the Wind’ – Black strapless cocktail dress – Hair all scrunchy – Like her hair better this way – fits her face. But what was with the long tail on that dress – that need ta go! This song def fit her voice better. Was actually kinda wholesome and sounded on key to me. Pretty good – she needs a good week. Good for her! Side note – ‘I’ve loved you from the very first moment you laid eyes on me’ – Oh please, I used that line in kindergarten! James – ‘Saturday Nights All Right’ – Black leather vest, printed T – crew neck but I’ll let him pass cause he wore a cool scarf thing over it - black jeans with the red stars down the side and with the hole in the knee – I have those – got um in Boston - All of it cool and all of it James. Man, he was all over the stage! LOVED IT! Oh yeah, he rocked that as I thought he would. Dude has massive energy and you can tell he is having the time of his life. Go for it bro! He rocks! I like this better than Elton’s version. Thia – ‘Daniel’ – White short eyelet dress with a brown rope belt – She looked like she was ready to head out to the garden party. This is probably my favorite Elton song (and that’s saying allot because not an Elton fan here). Not many people can do this song and she falls among that group. Sorry hun, she went pitchy on that one and it just didn’t work for me. She didn’t do anything that didn’t make me compare it to the original. That’s not good. Casey – ‘Your Song’ – Does he not have but that one pair of shorts? If not, out of all of the shorts that he owns, he chose to bring those? Seriously? WTH was that suit he had on made of – a dyed cocker sack? His hair and beard did look better though. OK, I take it back – this is probably one of my favorite Elton songs – so I have 2. There were parts of that that I liked and parts that I didn’t like. It’s a mellow song so when he tried to put his ‘Cayce-ness’ on it – it didn’t work – took away from the song – he was trying to kinda rock a slow song – that never works. He did however surprise me with the last note – didn’t know he had that in him. So all in all I’m giving that one a . . . . ‘Didn’t hate it but didn’t love it. Jacob – ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ – I KNEW he was going to sing this! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Dressed all in black with a sweet little red flower in his lapel and an untied red bowtie. Gimme a break! This guy gets on my nerves! As his usual he went WAY over the top on that one. He OVERDOES EVERY DAMN THING! AND when he opens that mouth so wide – he don’t have no head! The guy is talented – true – but this is not the competition for him – put his azz on Broadway and he’ll do great but on this show he is becoming one hell of a nuisance! Cut, Print it, Call it a wrap and send him home! Haley – ‘Bennie and the Jets’ – Low cut light gray low cut (did I say low cut twice – It needed repeating) - sparkly thing that would have looked good if it was shorter. That was way to long on her. Her hair was kickin though. She did a lot of growlin in that song. Couldn’t stand the song from day one and she didn’t do anything to make me like it either. But I think she did the best she could with what they threw at her. Of course all of the judges just raved over it but whadevah . . . . I thought it was . . . . Insert a look to the left here’ . . . . . So there you have the top 11 Elton John week. They vote off 2 tonight. As long as Pia and James stay - just pick two and send um packin! Ya'll have a great day and I'll hit ya up tomorrow. Peace, DJ Jumper ART President