Top 11 - 03/23/2010 (My Birthday!)

Good Morning my fellow ART’ies!

It’s Wacked Out Wednesday!

Gonna start off by saying that last night at dinner – dude comes up to me and ask me how many shirts I have ripped trying to get them over my arms . . . . And he didn’t even know it was my birthday! I’ll take it . . . .

We got Billboard number ones this week . . . .

Ryan – This dude even annoys me the way he walks down the stairs. Same black suit, same black tie, same white shirt – same dull Ryan.

Did you notice he asked twice why last night was so important and got the same answer twice – because only the top 10 go on tour – we get it Ryan – we’ve seen the show before – Did you fill up enough time asking that question twice – huh? Well did ya?

OK – we got Miley Cyrus as mentor – A freakin mentor?!? A mentor?!? Are you kiddin me – Did they run out of people in the mentor pool and she was all that was left? Let’s see just how far down hill we can go . . . . .

Lee – ‘The Letter’ - Black silk jacket, black jeans, white ‘t’ – I didn’t care for the ‘broach’ on the lapel – and the whole thing was so Andrew Dice Clay (OK – I stole that from Janeen – and she’s right – that is so dead on!). However, he did an awesome job on that. He seemed more confident on stage than he has in the past few weeks – still love this guy’s voice. Yep – great job!

Paige – ‘Against All Odds’ – White tunic kinda lookin thang – black skinny belt – black leggings – them black shoes were sweet though – it was nothing to write home about – unlike her performance – she needs to write home and say – ‘I’m on da way back home cause I sucked!’. That was just awful (as usual) – pitch all over the place. Totally blew chunks! Just how did she get this far? Just beat me with a tire iron – it would be less painful!

Tim - ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ – gray jacket – black/white sweater – jeans – would have worked better if he would have lost the jacket – didn’t go! The hair was rockin though. People, People, People – that was about as silly as it gets! The corny slide across the stage – the jumpin up and down like a ‘Esta Bunny’ on crack – vocals were awful. He peaked with ‘Halleluiah’. He’s done.

OK – so we are 41 minutes into the show and only 3 people have sung (well only one) – I think we need to blame idol as part of the bad economy!

Aaron – ‘I Don’t want To Miss A Thing’ – Black shirt jacket – black/white checked shirt – jeans – he kinda looked the best he has ever looked but totally screwed it up when he turned the sleeves up – don’t do that again! – ruined the whole thing! Judges liked it – I say it was way off. Still – not as bad as Paige – but way off. I coulda missed that.

Crystal – ‘Me & Bobby McGee’ – Now SHE totally looked the best she ever has – her hair was up – she had make up on – had on this black long dress with a cool belt – almost didn’t recognize her. I’ve always said she had a Joplin type voice and when I heard she was doing this I knew she would knock it outta the park and she TOTALLY did. That freakin ROCKED! She evidently knew it was my birthday and did that especially for me! Love this girl and cannot wait to see what she is going to do next!

Michael (I REFUSE to call him ‘Big %^&%’) ‘When A Man Loves A Woman’ – Black jacket – black vest (way to short for him) – white shirt – black jeans – he’s done this before – he needs to look up the word ‘variety’! That was a safe song choice for him and I still wasn’t ready to like him after that was over – Boring! I cannot get past his attitude. Judges kinda ripped him a new one on that – and they should have.

Andrew – ‘Heard It Through The Grapevine’ – Green kaki army type jacket – v-neck white ‘t’ – jeans – it was all to bland – BLAND being the keyword here. A stage performer he is not. Now I can see why he was reluctant to put the guitar down. He is way to stiff and it seemed to me like he talked most of that song instead of singing it. Not good and agree with Simon – he ‘sucked’ the soul right outta that song.

Katie – ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’ – Black jacket – pea green shirt with a big ole peace sign on the front – Shirt would be cool with jeans. She did her usual – sharp and pitchy - didn’t suck as much as she has in the past but still bad. This girl just needs to go – just like Paige.

Casey – ‘The Power of Love’ – Hair down – better – cool gray shirt with black pattern – black jeans – it was – well, his usual. Sorry Casey fans – that was like the ride from Charleston to Columbia – long and boring. It just didn’t have any . . . . Well, anything really. Mr. Hill, There’s something wrong with Casey. Somebody needs to jump that spark back into this guy.

Didi – ‘You’re No Good’ – Black one shoulder dress – big belt – black boots – black hose – ‘whadevah!' – I grow tired of her one shoulder look. All of that was fake and unbelievable – it was like she had to just do something and get it over with. She was . . . . No good.

Soybean – ‘Superstition’ – Cyrus said her voice had swagger – I bet she had to look that word up. Was that a female Mohawk or a Sheena Easton impression? Black vest – white shirt – gray tight pants – it was unusual – go figure. The judges loved that – I think the whole thing was way to slow. The big note was good but that was about it for me. She’s done much better the last couple of times – this time – not so much.

Only ones I liked tonight was Crystal and Lee in that order – other than that the show pretty much blew!

OK – let’s vote – Is this the worst season ever?

DJ Jumper
ART President