Soul/R&B 03/30/10

OK – We got Soul/R&B with Usher as the mentor . . . . I’m down wid dat.

Ryan – Charcoal pinstripe suit – blue shirt – gray tie – the grandfather wanna be strikes again! I saw this dude on Oprah and he had on the same damn thing! This dweeb has a 45 million dollar contract and can’t afford a new suit? WTH?

Oh – Did you see that sweet leather jacket that Usher had on – Black leather on the shoulders fading into gray leather – wide zip collar – that sucka will be mine! The search starts today! What is up with people wearing sunglasses inside? Even when he was ‘mentoring’ he told one of um – let me take my sunglasses off so you can look me in the eye. Excuse me – if I can’t look someone in the eye when I talk to um – I got nothing to say to um.

First up . . . .

Soybean – ‘Through The Fire’ – Thought it was funny when Usher asked her about her ’wardrobe’ and she said that people thought it was ‘shocking’ – Get out! Really?!? I just can’t understand that – especially when she had on a one shoulder white strap holding up a black sand paper lookin top, a diaper for a skirt and snow boots. How could that possibly be a shocker? Get real people – she looked like Pocahontas after a raid. Who the hell did her hair? A new stylist sniffin glue? To sum up – I didn’t particularly care for the outfit and I didn’t feel as if it was becoming to her (there – sound better). As far as her performance – she’s off her game. Bad song choice – didn’t show off her vocals – she yelled parts of it. She evidently thought she did good though cause she sho wasn’t excited with what the judges had to say. She need to go back to the tepee and smoke a little happy . . . .

Casey – ‘Hold On I’m Coming’ – Whoa – Casey switched up the wardrobe – not his usual pattern shirt and jeans – he adorned a black shirt jacket kinda thing with a red shirt underneath and jeans – did I love it? Nah – but at least it was a change so I’ll give the guy a break. Casey is back people! Bout damn time! That was sweet – you could tell he was having a blast and I had a blast right along with him. Agree with Simon that was his strongest performance yet. Home run Casey – that’ll bring you back up to bat next week.

Michael – ‘Ready For Love’ – Brown leather jacket, black t – jeans – boring – just like him. He picked another slow song – how safe. This guy just gets on my nerves. OK, here’s my deal with this guy. Do I think he can sing? – yes, he can sing – Did he do good on this song – yeah, he did good - the ‘issue’ I have with him (besides his attitude) is that the judges just rave over him and you can hear his type of voice on every freakin channel on the radio dial. He’s not that special! He can go anytime now – won’t miss him at all because – like I said – I hear that voice on the radio all the time.

Didi – ‘What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted’ – Whad up wid the 20’s flapper hairdo? Same stylist that did Soybeans hair musta did her’s too. All that gold sequined with the black chiffon on the bottom, Las Vegas dress was missing was the feather in her hair and the feather fan dancers forming a line in the background. OMG people – that performance was so bad I could smell it through my remote! Kara says she’s lost her way – Did she ever find it? – And quit with the freakin crying all the time! Zoloft does wonders! Didi who?

Tim – ‘Sweet Love’ – Black ‘nice’ suit jacket, white shirt, gray tie, jeans – smart look and it worked for him. However, the ‘scruffy’ look he was trying to achieve didn’t get pulled off so well – give it some time son. He didn’t do as bad as he normally does – it was ‘tolerable’ (I had taken my medication for the night at this point allowing the proper ‘kicking in’ time) – but like I said before – this dude has peaked and it appears it’s all down hill from here – but – he don’t give a rip – he’s having a blast. Who can blame the guy? He’s going on tour – he’s young – laugh it up bro – have the time of your life man – Go for it! Still say he just needs to go on over to A&F and do the modeling thing – singin ain’t his bag.

Andrew – ‘Forever’ – Weird green suit with this funny kinda purple/brown checked shirt – What the hell color was that? He looked like the sidewalk outside in the Vista after a bar closing – after you have had way to much to drink – and the sidewalk is moving – and you’re not – and when you finally make it home you have to sleep on the seat in your shower – fully clothed – because that’s the only place in the house that isn’t moving (Don’t even ask me how I know about this). Anyway, to sum up – judges loved the look (but consider the source and look at their wardrobe and there you have it) – but – Nah – that looked like crap. He actually did better than he’s done in a LONG while. He’s still boring to me but he did step it up this time and I actually listened to the whole thing and didn’t tune out half way through the middle. Much better!

Katie – ‘Chain of Fools’ – (Fool being the operative word here) – Here she goes again playin ‘dress up’ – Green spaghetti strap short combo with black (were those leggings? Couldn’t tell) pants? – and her mama’s shoes. That song was WAY over that poofy hair of hers! I’m surprised Aretha didn’t come through the airways and shake her finger at her and say ‘Child, Don’t you EVAH do dat again!’ accompanied with the head sway! Why she chose such a huge song beats the hell outta me. Once again, the judges – Except Simon - raved about an awful performance (I still say they are trying to convince us these people are good – ain’t workin!) – Agree with Mr. Simon – that was a Star Search performance.

Lee – ‘Treat Her Like A Lady’ – I LOVE this song – good ole Cornelius Brothers and Sista Rose! I wore that album out! Gray leather jacket, black tee, gray jeans – it was OK. I had such a hard time comparing his rendition to the original but after he got into it – I got over it. That was butter pecan ice cream people (I love butter pecan ice cream!) – great song choice – loved the vocals and loved the performance – Damn nice job.

Crystal – ‘Midnight Train to Georgia’ – She’s playing the piano this week – she can play the guitar, piano and harmonica – All I can play is . . . . well, never mind. Hair back down – looks much better up – red dress with black leggings – on her it worked. She did good on that – totally not as good as last week - that was a little ‘subdued’ to me. I just wanted more from her after hearing her do Joplin last week. She’ll be fine – she’s the most talented one this year and I like her more and more each week and I still want to hear what she’s going to do next.

Aaron – ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’ – Can somebody PLEASE retire this song? I mean even Lee Majors took a crack at this one! He had on a blue leisure suit when he sang it. (As God is my witness – I NEVER owned a leisure suit – I knew that wouldn’t last past a sneeze!) – Black hooded jacket, plaid shirt (the boy loves him some plaid!) – Jeans and he’s got them sleeves rolled up again! Dude, LISTEN! These youngens! That was OK – no big woo. Just like an ‘OK, he’s done and another week down’.

Top for me – Lee, Crystal and Casey.

I'd love to see Katie be gone tonight but who know what some of these people are smokin when they vote . . . .

DJ Jumper
ART President